80 Oyster Jokes that Will Open Happiness in You

Ready to dive into the deep end of humor and come up trailing pearls of laughter? Prepare to submerge in a sea of hilarity with a collection of rib-ticklers all about – wait for it – oysters! That’s right, those hard-shelled bundles of brine that hide treasures of delight are now set to tickle your funny bone as well as your taste buds!

Say adios to a dull day as you navigate through a bounty of chuckles, guffaws and giggles, eighty of them to be precise – all about our beloved mollusks of merriment. These jokes will have you clapping like clams and will surely prawnvoke your laughter! So hold onto your snorkels, brave the waves of wit, and dive right in to this ocean of oyster quips and comedy. We shell assure you, it’s an adventure you won’t want to miss.

  • Why did the oyster refuse to flirt back? It was not int-oy-sted.
  • Why was the oyster never bored? Because it was always full of pearls of wisdom.
  • What did the oyster do after witnessing a mafia killing? He clammed up.
  • She always believed she was going to be shuk-essful.
  • What did the oysters do during the birthday party? They shellabrated.
  • He failed to carry some crucial documents with him and couldn’t reg-oyster for the event.
  • Why did the oyster save all its money? To invest in the stock Shellmarket.
  • In the kingdom of shellfish, which title does the oyster hold? The pearl-minister.
  • Some leaders never add value to the country. All they do is sleep and argue pearl-iament.
  • There is no need to always b-oysting about your accomplishments.
  • What was the oyster’s preferred band? Pearl Jam.
  • How does an oyster stay fresh? It uses deodor-shell.
  • What do you call an oyster that always shows off? A shell-out.
  • Comic book movies are all about oyster eggs these days.
  • Obi-Wan was really disappointed when Anakin turned to the dark side. He believed he was the spe-shell one.
  • Why was the oyster an exceptional student? Because it was well-schooled.
  • What did the captain tell the crew on deck? H-oyst the sails.
  • I went to the local Shell station yesterday. I was really surprised when they rejected my Oyster card.
  • What’s the hardest thing for an oyster friend? Trying to get them out of their shell.
  • What did the oyster say after performing well in school? I have p-oyster-tial.
  • There were some oysters that were tucked away. They were shuck-luded.
  • Why was the oyster unaffected by the scorching sun? Because it was sun-tan resistant.
  • The oyster became paralyzed after the traumatic event. He was shell shocked.
  • What did the oyster wear as he was deployed to war? A shell-met.
  • I used to have a really shy oyster, but one day she came out of her shell.
  • I was really saddened by his departure. Goodb-oys are always hard for me.
  • The snowstorm had left us stranded in the middle of nowhere. We had to m-oyster our strength to survive.
  • Installing an electronic payment system was the c-oyster-effective option.
  • What did the oyster do after breakdancing on the dance floor? He pulled a mussel.
  • What did the oyster do in the library? It quickly sc-oyster-ed around.
  • What do mollusks do after losing their luggage? They go to the clams department.
  • What did the oyster send to the lobster? A Shellfie.
  • I was invited to a party by my friend. The h-oyst was very friendly.
  • There is nothing more shell-arious than snail puns.
  • The retailer decided to put all her promotions on a p-oyster.
  • The teacher was really concerned about the student’s grades. She told him he had to stop living in a fanta-sea.
  • The pope provided food to the homeless in the country. He showcased a shell-fless act.
  • Why don’t oysters love to be cooked? It affects their shellfish steam.
  • Why was the oyster better off single? It was bet-oystered.
  • She admin-oysters the oyster farm
  • Why was the oyster flying? Someone had shucked it.
  • When the oyster was born, what did the mom say? Shell-lo world, meet my baby.
  • What is the oyster’s favourite place to shop? The shell-mart.
  • What did the miser oyster say? I am not giving, I am shellfish!
  • What is a funny oyster called? A clamedian.
  • He blocked the path for students, making them late for class. Sea-niors are always the worst.
  • Why can the oyster never beat the tortoise in a race? Because the tortoise always clams the victory.
  • I told my friend to accompany me to the mall. She said she’s got oyster matters to take care of.
  • Despite being in the restaurant industry for decades, the job I was offered was preparing oysters. That really shucks.
  • What makes oysters wealthy? Their pearls of income.
  • As the Bible always says, Seek, and you shell find.
  • They had all the goods cl-oyster-ed together.
  • What do you call an oyster with an evil plan? A ployster.
  • The police conducted a huge operation last week. They sea-zed a lot of drugs.
  • The oyster loved his wife dearly. She was his sea-gnificant other.
  • The examiner did not remove his gaze from us during the whole exam. He had his oys on us.
  • Nowadays, oysters seem to have progressed with their method of communication. They are using shell phones now.
  • The oyster was never going to reveal his sea-cret.
  • Why don’t Oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
  • I was searching for my pet oyster the other day and couldn’t find him. I guess he must’ve been using clamouflage.
  • Where do oysters go when they want to borrow money? To the prawn broker.
  • What do you call an imposter pretending to be something else? An imp-oyster.
  • The shellfish dropped deep into the ocean. She was pretty m-oyst.
  • What did the businessman oyster advise the young ones? Be brave, or you’ll be crayfished.
  • The performance of the team was lackl-oyster
  • Since I was admitted to the hospital, I’ve become prone to sea-zures.
  • What did the oyster say when it bumped into a pearl? Oh shucks!
  • What was the doctor’s diagnosis of the oyster’s health problem? Shell-litus.
  • What do oysters do when they run out of gas? They go to a Shell station.
  • What happened to the oyster after he stole the pearls? He was pro-shuck-uted.
  • Why was the oyster thrown out of English class? It was using bad clam-mar.
  • What do oysters use to keep their pearl white teeth clean? A tooth shell.
  • What do you use for dry skin? A m-oyster-izer.
  • What game do oysters love to play most? Hide and sea-k.
  • Every gift he bought for his kids he got from the t-oyster.
  • When choosing friends, shellfish tend to be really shell-ow.
  • Who did the oyster vote for in the election? The candidate promising a clam economy.
  • How did the oyster answer her cell phone? Shello?
  • What did the oyster say when it got tired of arguing? Let’s clam it down.
  • Who was protecting the bank? The shuck-urity guards.

Well, that wraps our salty expedition into the rambunctious realm of oyster wit, folks! Whether you’re a hard shell on the outside with an unexpected pearl of humor waiting to be revealed, or a seafood enthusiast with a taste for chuckles, we dove into the seafaring shenanigans and surfaced with 80 pieces of comedic treasure. Remember, laughter is the best sauce to accompany the oyster of life, and these puns and jokes are proof. Savor them, have a hearty laugh, and bring a little touch of the ocean’s mirth to your mundane mainlands. No worries about the shellfish humor, we’ve done a thorough shucking! Your funny bone must be feeling clam-tastic by now!