76 Chuckle-Inducing Clam Jokes That Are Shell-Shockingly Funny

Dive deep into the sea of humor and get ready to splash around in chuckles with this marvelous list of clam-centered jokes that are utterly shell-splitting. You’ll be surfin’ the waves of laughter with a treasure chest of 76 fantastically amusing quips that promise to clamp your funny bone tighter than a clam’s shell on a pearl.

Clam up no more and let these marine-themed hilarities prawnvoke your inner comedian. Even the grumpiest of ocean grouches or the most barnacle-hardened old sea dogs, will be tickled pink like an inside of a seashell. Roister with us in this tide of silliness, cause fish humor has never been this clam-tasting! Find out how these 76 pearls of wit can turn a gloomy day into a beach party filled with giggles. Go ahead, the sea of laughter awaits!

What did the clam name its autobiography? Shells and Tell.
Why did the clam get the modeling job? He had big mussels.
What did the clam plead in his court case? Not gill-ty.
What did the clam say at the kitchen counter? I clam cook any mussel.
Why do clams struggle to win court cases? They don’t have a leg to stand on.
What happened to the clam after his divorce? He had to pay abalone.
What did the mollusk say when he woke up sick? I just feel a little clammy today.
Who is the boxers favourite clam? Mohammed Alli Clam.
What do clams use to write with? Pen-clams.
Why did the man stop searching for clams on the beach? He fell and pulled a mussel.
Why did the clam have to go home early? He pulled a mussel.
Why do clams never share their pearls? They are really shellfish.
How did the clam travel across the ocean? A taxi crab.
Did you hear what the pirate named his new pet clam? Michelle.
How do clams have fun with their friends? They throw a party to shellebrate.
What happened to the clam after its nightmare? It was shell shocked.
Why did the clam go to therapy? It had a hard time coming out of its shell.
Why did the clam get divorced? He was too shellfish.
Did you hear about the clam that can play the violin? He has excellent mussel memory.
Where do clams do most of their shopping? At the local mall-usk.
What does a clam need when riding a bike? A shell-met.
What did the clam say after waking up from his dream? Is this real life, or is this fantasea?
What does a clam say when it answers the telephone? Shello?
What did the clam detective say? Case sea-led.
What do you call a clam who likes poetry? A shell-let.
What happens when a mollusk gets afraid? They start to clam up.
What should you tell seafood during an emergency? Don’t panic! Keep clam.
What’s a happy clam’s favorite drink? A clamtini.
What did the clam say when he heard a joke? Oh my clamness, that was funny.
What song do clams play at their birthday party? Shell-ebrate good times.
What did the clam say when he dropped all his groceries? Aww, shucks.
Why do clams love smartphones? They can take a lot of shelfies.
Why did the clam get into politics? To become a shell-ebrity.
Where do clams love to shop? The mall-usk.
What do you call a clam who always takes charge? A shell-eader.
What was the clam’s best subject in school? Mollusk-ics.
Why did the mollusk receive a traffic ticket? He was parked in a clam-ping zone.
What is a clam’s favorite musical artist? Pearl Jam.
What did the clam artist say at his exhibition? Shall we shell-abrate?
What is a mollusk’s favorite band? Wu-Tang Clam.
Why did they have a clam dinner at the school? For the soup-erintendant.
What happened to the mollusk watching a scary movie? He got all clammed up.
What did the clam do on his birthday? Shellebrated.
Have you heard about the clam who committed murder? They said it was for shellfish reasons.
Why do clams struggle to make friends? It takes a lot for them to open up.
What do you call a clam taking a picture of itself? A shellfie.
I asked my clam friends to help me move, but all they did was sit around. They are so shellfish sometimes.
How do clams stay informed? They listen to the shell-cast.
How does a clam get in touch with his friends? Calls them on a shell phone.
What’s the coolest type of shellfish? A razor clam.
I tripped over a clam yesterday, and now I’m so sore. I think I pulled my mussel.
What did the clam say when he heard a rumor? That’s some fresh shell-sip.
What did the clam say to his wife? You make me feel so spe-shell.
How do clams flirt? They send shell-ograms.
What is a clam’s favorite game to play? Hide and sea-k.
Why was the clam so good at boxing? Because it had a mean right clam.
What do you call a clam who likes to take risks? A shell daredevil.
What do clams need to stay healthy? Vitamin sea.
Where does a clam go when he runs out of gas? A Shell station.
What did the clam say before riding a rollercoaster? I’ll see you on the oyster side.
Who is the richest clam in the sea? Elon Mollusk.
What do you call a clam on a skateboard? Shell on wheels.
What does a clam say during a motivational speech? The world is your oyster!
Do you hear the new clam pun? It’s absolutely shell-arious.
What does a mollusk do if they lose its luggage? Visit the clams department.
How does a clam apologize? He says: I am shell-y sorry!.
What currency do clams use in the ocean? Shellings.
What did the clam yell when he was attacked? Kelp me!
Why wouldn’t the inspector approve the clam’s new shell plans? Because they weren’t a fish-shell.
Why is it so easy for a clam to play instruments? They have great mussel memory.
What did the mollusk say to his kids? Don’t clam the door!
What did the clam say when it was in trouble? Uh shell!
What do you call a clam that won’t share his toys? Shellfish.
How do clams stay warm in winter? They wear shell-ter necks.
Where do clams go if they need to borrow money? The prawn broker.
What type of beach do clams love to visit? Mussel beach.

And that’s a wrap on our marathon of mollusk merriment! I hope those juicy 76 clam jokes and puns have been a real pearl in your day, leaving you in a sea of laughter. No doubt, some of these puns were so clam-plicated that they will stay with you forever. Keep clam and chuckle on, my bivalve-loving friends until our next comedic tide rolls in! Remember, in pearlescent comedy as in life, sometimes you’ve got to shuck a few clams to get to the good stuff!

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