Welcome, chuckle connoisseurs and mirth mavens! Tighten your laces for a comedic hike that will march right up your funny bone. Our route is labyrinthine and squarely on a theme you might not have put your foot into yet – boots, but trust us, you’ll soon find yourself knee-deep in giggles and guffaws! With a unique ensemble of 55 whimsical boot-themed wisecracks, we guarantee an unstoppable flurry of laughter.
Get ready to laugh until you’re sole-d! From ankle ticklers to thigh-slapping knee-highs, there’s a joke in here that’s sure to give your merriment muscle a proper workout. Run through, skip or hop onto this fun collection that’s set to boot boredom out the window. These boot-themed jests are here to knock your socks off, or should we say boots, without pinching your toes. Kick off your day with this list and might as well get the boot on the other foot laughing!
A woman is furious with the IRS and decides to blow it up. She puts a bag filled with C-4 explosives at the back seat of her Toyota Camry and heads for Washington DC. Her boyfriend is distressed about her. “What if the explosives go off while still in the car? ”She replies, “There’s nothing to worry about, darling. I have a spare bomb in the boot. ”
Why was the boot thrown out of school? It wouldn’t toe the line.
Why did the boot overpay for its house? It got stuck in a binding contract.
Why didn’t he feel sexy when she wore snakeskin boots? He had a reptile dysfunction.
Why did the math book hate the boot? It had too many problems, and it couldn’t help heel any of them.
He got into trouble for skipping camouflage training at the army boot camp. The tutor said he had never seen him in class.
Why is it hard to find the right pair of pirate boots? Because they are arrrgh so picky.
If you have ever wondered who your real friend is between your wife or dog, try this experiment. Put your wife and your dog in the boot of a car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who will be happy to see you?
Why was the egg unable to make it through boot camp? Because he cracks under pressure.
Why did the boot burn the turkey at Thanksgiving? It didn’t have the right sole settings.
My friend Kevin gave his size 12 boots to his little brother, Phil. The problem was Phil wears size 9. Kevin left large shoes to Phil.
What kind of instrument does a boot use? A shoehorn.
What do you call a soldier who couldn’t make it past boot camp? A cop.
He couldn’t tie his shoelaces. They decided to send him to boot camp.
My friend was holding a pair of boots to her ears. She told me she was listening to sole music.
I decided to give a friend some boots she had been drooling over, but she didn’t like the color. I told her beggars shouldn’t be shoes-y.
I couldn’t locate my boots this morning. Me: Are those my boots you are wearing? Dad: Yeah, sorry. I was unable to locate mine this morning. Me: It’s okay. Just don’t break them. Dad: I’m walking all over them.
Why did the boot break up with its significant other? It was tired of being laced around.
Why did the boot get kicked out of its apartment? It had a very loud heel.
Why did the pc owner place a shoe in her hard drive? She was told she needed a boot drive
The boot camp received too many applicants. Most of them had to be put on a wading list.
My brother who is in the US Navy broke his foot. To properly heal, he has to wear tennis shoes instead of boots. He said they made him buy new black shoes, instead of his normal shoes. He said that it seemed petty to make him do that. I told him that it sounded like the decision was being made by a Petty Officer.
Why did the boot win the talent show? Its performance was toe-tally awesome.
When someone takes your boot and doesn’t return it, it’s not a souvenir. It’s a boutonniere.
My friend made some boots completely out of Lego. When you stand on them, it doesn’t hurt, you just get a little taller.
Why did the boot go to therapy? It had trust issues and could never truly heel.
Why was the cowboy always wearing boots? He did not want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket
Her pustules burst as she went to visit the doctor. Puss in Boots.
Why did the German keep a dead calf in the boot of his car? It was his spare veal.
Two Canadians were taking a walk through the snow. One of them sees a boot in the snow and says, “Look, a boot. ”His friend replies, “About what? ”
My girlfriend broke her toe and was told to wear a protective boot. I took the boot and started caressing it with my hand making trilling noises. Girlfriend: What are you doing? Me: Just feeling the marvelous curves of your booty.
Why was the boot bad at soccer? It would always get a kick out of tripping others.
I went to a bar in Texas and found a man wearing paper chaps, paper jeans, a paper shirt, a paper cowboy hat, and paper boots. Afterwards, the police came and arrested him for rustling.
Why did the boot break up with the sock? It said it was tired of being walked all over.
”Watson, is that sludge on your boots? ”“No, shit, Sherlock. ”
Why did the boot fail the test? It was always a little cloggy-headed.
Why did the boot join a yoga class? It wanted to learn how to heel and toe.
Why did the boots quit being made? The capitalist shoe culture had them tongue-tied.
Worst thing about millipedes playing soccer is the amount of time it takes for them to wear boots.
Why did the cardigan go to boot camp? To warm up.
I threw his boot off a cliff yesterday. It was an assisted shoe-icide.
What do you call a dinosaur wearing boots and a cowboy hat? Tyrannosaurus Tex.
I caught my husky chewing on my boots. He must have a really good taste in footwear.
Why did the shoe go to boot camp? To kick itself into shape.
Why was the boot always broke? It kept getting tied up in knots.
My friend tried to start a car football league, but it didn’t work. Everyone had only one boot.
Why didn’t the boot get the job? It didn’t meet the dress shoe code.
Why was the boot excluded from the dance party? Because it always stepped on other people’s toes.
Why did the boot get promoted in the shoe factory? Because it always stepped up its game.
He accidentally wore his Spanish friend’s rain boots instead of his. Turns out those boots were made for Joaquin.
Why don’t boots make good secrets keepers? Because their tongues always flap.
Why did the boot hire a lawyer? It was getting sued for causing toe-many injuries.
I asked a girl wearing Apple Bottom jeans and fur boots for some water. As might have been expected, shawty got l’eau.
Why was the boot’s comedy performance a flop? His jokes were too corny, and he always slipped up his punchlines.
Why did the grain of wheat dislike the boot? It felt pressed and couldn’t find the grain of comfort.
Well, there you have it, folks! You’ve just stomped through a heap of 55 boot-themed laughs. Whether you’ve got a sole craving for humor, or you just can’t heel from laughing your socks off, we hope these puns and jokes have kept up the ‘kick’. It’s been a laced with laughs journey and we hope you’ve boot-enjoyed every bit. Keep stepping into the hilarious world of humor, and remember, in the game of puns, you always have to put your best foot (or should we say, ‘boot’) forward!
Important Disclaimer: We may get commissions for products or services purchased via links on our site. Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on Amazon at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product. Content, discounts, offers, images, prices and availability are subject to change or removal at any time. logiclovely.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, any store or brand displayed on this website does not support, sponsor or endorse this website or its content. CERTAIN CONTENT THAT APPEARS ON THIS SITE COMES FROM AMAZON SERVICES LLC. THIS CONTENT IS PROVIDED ‘AS IS’ AND IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE OR REMOVAL AT ANY TIME. The third-party product names, logos, brands, and trademarks are the property of their respective owners and not affiliated with logiclovely.com. These parties not support, sponsor or endorse this website or its content, or services.
