63 Solid Concrete Jokes to Make Your Sides Crack Up

Ready to cement your status as the life of the party? Prepare yourself for laughter with some seriously solid humor that’s guaranteed to rock your world. No, we’re not talking about generic, overused jokes. Here, we’ve compiled 63 hilariously hard-hitting puns and jokes themed around…well, concrete!

You’d think concrete would be boring, right? It’s just stone, sand, and cement mixed together. But in the world of humor, even the most mundane things can set the groundwork for some seriously laugh-out-loud puns. Our concrete-themed comedy is all about keeping things tightly packed with tons of fun. So get primed to skim through these gems and strengthen your funny bone. Their rock-solid humor is so spot-on, you might find your sides starting to crack up! So, loosen up a little, because laughter is about to be set in stone.

A man was driving to work when he got into an accident that knocked him out cold. Some pedestrians pulled him out from the wreckage and performed CPR to revive him. After regaining consciousness, he started struggling so hard that the medics had to tranquilize him. Later at the hospital, when he calmed down, one medic asked him why he struggled so much. He replied, a bit shamefaced, “I remember a loud bang and then everything went completely black. Suddenly, I woke up on this concrete slab and all I could see was this big, flashing sign. Turns out it was the ‘Shell’ sign and someone was standing in front of the ‘S’”
The concrete train service was shut down, because of hardened conditions on the tracks.
She quickly and effortlessly discovered a new way to cut concrete and rocks. It was a groundbreaking discovery.
What did the steel tell the concrete? Don’t take too much tension
A cement truck was being driven irresponsibly on road. The police put a brake on the hard-driving.
How did cement support the building? The hard way.
Wet concrete. It’s like flypaper for bad drivers.
I got my report card, it was as hard as concrete.
I got into a concrete throwing competition. Didn’t win but I did have a solid throw.
My favorite cure for a cement headache is Ibuprofen, it’s the only solution that’s concrete.
What did one colleague say to the other at the concrete factory? “Aw, man. This job just keeps getting harder and harder. ”
I asked my friend what roads are made of. She told me, “Cement. ”I don’t think she gave me a concrete answer.
My friend pushed George Bush into a vat of concrete. It set a very bad president.
A friend tried to argue that you can’t make a wall out of concrete, I said “watch me as I cement my argument.
A guy walks into a bar with some concrete placed under his arm. He says, “One for me, and one for the road. ”
I’ve been trying to think of a pun involving concrete, but nothing has really hardened yet.
What does a concrete slab do when it retires? It cementors.
She studied concrete for a while. It was really hard for her.
He requested to be buried in wet concrete when he died. He wanted the plot to thicken over time.
She was in a relationship with a cement worker. However, nothing was really concrete.
A man was obsessed with concrete, it was his matter of concrete passion.
Why was the concrete bad at its job? The shear stress was too much.
What was the gun made completely from concrete called? An asphalt rifle
What did the cement say to the rainwater? You make me feel solid.
My friend didn’t believe that I could make cement. He asked for concrete evidence.
Their countertops are made of cement. He always took it for granite.
How do you reinforce concrete? Rebar.
How can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it? Whichever way you like. Concrete floors are hard to crack.
The duck was staring at the concrete we were mixing. We ended up with quacks in the building.
My friend fell face-first into the fresh concrete yesterday. He wasn’t worried, though – his dad always said he’d make a good impression.
We saw a nun wearing a concrete dress. That’s a hard habit to break.
The fish swam into the concrete wall. Dam.
His mind is like concrete. Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
I threw a ball for my dog and it went into a cement mixer, guess he has a concrete obsession now.
How did the concrete race begin? “Ready… Set…”
There was a couple that confused window cement with KY-Jelly. Their windows fell out.
Do you know why concrete never argues? Because it always gets its solid point across.
How do you get out of a cement room when stuck with only a chainsaw and a table? Use the chainsaw to cut the table in half. Two halves make a hole.
Why was the concrete comedy club so popular? Because its jokes were rock solid.
The engineer designed a new way to prevent cracks from forming in concrete. He used a giant octopus. He says, “All you have to do, is release the ‘crackin’”
What did the one concrete worker say to the other? I hope things harden up for you soon.
Three slabs of concrete walk into the bar. They sit down, order some beers, and begin boasting about their strength. Suddenly, a small bit of green tarmac walks in, and the slabs hide under the table. The green tarmac orders its drinks and leaves, and the slabs immediately get up. The bartender is astonished and asks them, “What happened there? I thought you were all tough. ”One replies, “We might be tough, but he’s a cycle path. ”
It irks me when people misuse the words gravel, asphalt, and concrete. It’s all about cementics.
Why was Picasso fired from the cement factory? They said his ideas weren’t concrete enough.
Why did the concrete work in progress sign wear a top hat? Because it was looking to impress.
A prison bus and a cement mixer collided on the highway. The police are searching for hardened criminals.
Girlfriend: Do you know the human bone is tougher than concrete? Me: Yes, I believe you. Now, can you please put the drill down?
Drive smoothly over our new concrete road, you won’t even asphalt your travel.
Why did the man pour a cup of concrete into his garden? He wanted to grow a concrete jungle.
What was the gorilla in the cement mixer called? King Koncrete.
Me: Did you read about the girl who injected concrete into her buttocks? Dad: Sounds like she hit rock bottom. Me: Yeah. She’s gonna have a hard-ass, too.
Why couldn’t the cement truck get up the hill? It kept stalling on its concrete plans.
The lawyer presented concrete evidence to the court. It cemented her case and did the husband a solid.
She’s dating a concrete guy, she says he’s solid as a rock.
Why did the concrete refuse to harden? Because it was in no rush to set in.
Why didn’t the two blocks of cement get along? Because they had a hard fallout.
He loved materials used with cement to create reinforced concrete. They were simply aggregreat.
Where was the concrete buried? At the cement-ery
To try and be innovative, my friend made an egg out of concrete. That will take some beating.
How nicely does a concrete console its fellow concrete? By saying, don’t be upset, let’s cement our relationship.
He has never understood the difference between paving slabs and concrete. It’s a gray area for him.
I ran into a concrete wall the other day. It wasn’t very pourous.
The local concrete plant was flooded the other day. The staff had a hard time moving inventory.

And there we have it folks, a monumental list of 63 rock-solid concrete jokes designed to last longer than your new patio! Whether you’re a cement truck driver, a construction worker, or just a fan of hearty, rock-related humor, we hope these quips left you cracking up, or at least gave you a concrete reason to laugh! Remember, like concrete, true humor sets slowly but holds up strong. So, go spread these jokes, and be that hilarious foundation everyone needs in their life!

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