49 Construction Puns So Funny They’ll Hammer Home a Laugh

Get ready to be nailed by laughter as we uncover our blueprint of humor dedicated purely to construction! From scaffolding silliness to concrete comedy, our comedic architects have engineered a list of 49 hilarious jokes and puns, each built to tickle your funny bone until your belly aches with laughter.

Mortar importantly, expect every beam of wit to hold steady under the pressure of your chuckles. Whether you’re a construction professional looking for a giggle on your lunch break or just someone who appreciates a sturdy punchline, these jokes will construct a hearty laugh in no time. So grab your hard hat and let’s bulldoze through the wall of boredom and into the site of hilarity!

  • What is a construction worker’s favorite dance move? Raise the roof.
  • Why is a construction worker’s joke always funny? Because he nails the punchline.
  • Why was the builder a good baseball player? He had a perfect pitch.
  • The shovel remains one of the most groundbreaking construction tools ever.
  • Why did the construction worker never fall in love? He was into rebuilding, not building bonds.
  • Why was the construction worker practicing his numbers? He was trying to lay a concrete foundation.
  • A construction worker and a cheating wife were having an affair. They bonded through conversations about the things they had most in common. They were both home wreckers.
  • Why did the construction worker become a politician? He wanted to lay down the law, brick by brick.
  • Two construction workers are having lunch on a park bench when they notice an attractive lady doing stretches on the other side of the park. They begin catcalling and shouting for her attention. Finally she stops to look up at them. The two workers then start gesturing toward the lady and indicating for her to lift up her shirt to show them her breasts. Nervously, she looks around to make sure nobody is watching. Nobody is, so she slowly lifts up her shirt, and the men whistle loudly again out of excitement. The lady unexpectedly slips her shirt over her head and the two workers get even more excited and begin shouting for her to strip off the rest of her clothes. After another nervous glance around the park, the lady slowly begins to strip the rest of her clothing. When she is fully naked, she begins to make her way across the park toward the workers, who stand nervously still, watching her approach and staring at her naked body. She finally makes it over to them, places a hand each on both of their chests, and seductively whispers, “Your turn boys. I wanna see your nuts. Which one of you wants to show me first? ” The workers glance at one another, looking nervous and slightly confused. One of them finally volunteers. Suddenly, he begins waving his arms in the air, running around in circles and yelling “WHEEEEEEE! ” The other worker laughs. “That’s not what she meant, you idiot! ” The lady giggles. “Show him what I mean. Show me your nuts. ” The other worker winks and nods in understanding. Then he slowly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handful of bolts and screws.
  • Why did the construction worker stare at his orange juice? The label said concentrate.
  • Why did the builder go to school? To perfect his ruler-ship.
  • What was the construction worker’s favorite type of math? Geometry because it’s all about the right angles.
  • I knew a guy who operated a steamroller for a living. He was known to be quite good with flattery.
  • No one believes that I was able to cut through wood by staring at when I was a kid. But trust me, I saw it with my own eyes!
  • I once had a construction job. I quit after less than a year because I just couldn’t handle it like I originally thought. I told my best friend about it. “I couldn’t take it, ” I told him. “I wasn’t physically or mentally strong enough. ” My friend was very supportive. “That’s completely understandable, ” he said. “You did what you needed to do. But did you just walk away, or did you hand over a too weak notice? ”
  • Have you heard the famous miracle about the blind construction worker? One day he just picked up a hammer and saw.
  • What is a construction worker’s favorite view? The OSHA
  • A construction worker walked into a bar. “Good evening, ” said the bartender. “You look like you had a rough day at work. ” The worker nodded. “It was unusually rough today. ” The bartender, looking sympathetic, nodded back and asked, “You want the usual tonight? ” The construction worker thought for a moment. “No, ” she said after a moment, “I’m off work tomorrow, and I have someone on the way here to pick me up. I think I’ll order a stiff drink. ” The bartender took down the order and walked away. About five minutes later, she came back and handed the worker a large glass of cement.
  • One of our construction workers just quit because he wasn’t strong enough to do the work. He gave us his two-weak notice.
  • Why did the construction worker bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
  • Why did the builder break up with his girlfriend? He had wall issues.
  • My manager asked me for a blueprint so I stuck my hand in blue ink and pressed my palm on his desk.
  • Why did the construction worker always carry a pencil behind his ear? He didn’t want to draw a blank.
  • Why do construction workers love coffee breaks? Because they love to espresso their feelings.
  • There once was a construction worker who had an accident on the job. He got dirt in his eye and became blind. He was advised to stay home and heal for a while with the promise that he could come back to work when he learned to work around his blindness. His best friend also began doing little tests with him every day. His friend would encourage him to walk around for a few minutes, pick things up and determine what they were. He received a call from his friend at the end of every day to recap things that he picked up and guessed correctly, and if any of his eyesight had happened to come back. One day he got a call from his friend at the end of the day, which he answered with excitement. “Hey guess what? ” He told his buddy, “Today I picked up a hammer and saw! ”
  • A hopeless romantic drives a steamroller. He’s also quite a flatterer.
  • Why did the construction worker not get fired for stealing a jackhammer? There wasn’t enough concrete evidence.
  • Why did the construction worker start his own bakery? He was a pro at kneading dough.
  • I took a quiz about construction work. I screwed it up. I took it again and I nailed it.
  • Why did the supervisor fail at being a stand-up comedian? He always cracked under concrete pressure.
  • I didn’t expect much from the movie about construction workers, but it was actually quite riveting.
  • Why do dogs make great construction workers? They’re natural roofers.
  • Dogs should have construction jobs. They are very good at roofing.
  • Why do construction workers make bad bartenders? When you order a stiff drink, they bring you a glass full of cement.
  • Why are construction workers great chefs? They know the recipe for concrete results.
  • Why did the construction worker read the fashion magazines? He wanted to stay in-vogue with the latest steel-toe boots.
  • What do construction workers use to write their essays? Paragraph re-bar.
  • What sort of music does a construction worker prefer? Anything with a good build up.
  • What did the chatty construction worker say? I love to asphalt!
  • What do construction workers say when they successfully complete a task? Nailed it!
  • I respectfully applaud the workers who dedicate themselves to the construction of Big Ben. They really work around the clock.
  • Why was the construction worker always calm? He was a Zen-gineer.
  • Why was the builder tired at the piano recital? He couldn’t find the right key.
  • Why did the construction worker bring a window to dinner? He wanted to see the dinner roll.
  • A construction worker falls madly in love with a beautiful woman. At first he isn’t sure how to talk to her. One day he decides to use his job skills to win her over. All he has to do is build up his confidence, hammer home his feelings, and try not to screw it up. He just might nail it.
  • There once was a roofer who was known for being a busybody. He always did such a terrible job that people were beginning to wonder why he was still not fired. One day, he had a talk with his boss and a few coworkers, and they finally figured out why the busybody was so terrible at his job. Turns out he just couldn’t stop eavesdropping.
  • I didn’t want to believe my cousin was a construction site thief, but one afternoon, when I decided to visit his house, all the signs were there.
  • When the construction worker got promoted, he was moved to a higher floor.
  • What do construction workers say before they begin a job. Let’s make sure we don’t screw this up.

That’s all, folks! We hope this riveting set of 49 construction gags has managed to cement a smile onto your face and perhaps even levelled up your joke repertoire. Keep these puns handy, just in case a laughter emergency arises! Remember, sharing a good joke is like building a bridge of laughter – it always connects people. Don’t worry if some people don’t get these construction capers immediately, perhaps they’re just a couple bricks shy of a load. So keep the laughs rolling like a cement mixer and stay tuned for more hilarious content coming your way!