45 Garlic Puns So Good, They’ll Spice Up Your Laughs

Get ready for a breath of fresh hilarity as we dive into the tantalizing world of garlic gags and giggles! Proceed if you garlic enough to handle it. With a whopping total of 45 delightful jests, you’d be amazed how such a simple little bulb can sprout the most tummy-tickling puns.

Now, don’t worry, none of these jokes are too ‘spicy’ to handle – we’ve made sure they’re perfectly seasoned for all ages to enjoy. So pull up a comfy chair, munch on a garlic breadstick if you dare, and prepare for a punning overflow that’s sure to keep the laughs rolling in. Whether you’re a garlic aficionado, a fan of a good play on words, or simply in need of a pick-me-up, these puns will certainly add some extra flavor to your day! Set your worries aside, because it’s thyme to carry oregano of laughter into this delightful spread of garlic-themed humor. Onwards, to the laughs!

  • Why was garlic a bad secret keeper? It couldn’t keep its cloves shut!
  • What kind of socks do garlic farmers use when tending their crops? Garden hose!
  • What’s a garlic’s favorite TV show? The Big Stink Theory!
  • Why was the garlic so brave? It had a lot of bulb courage!
  • Dracula attended the dinner party tonight but no one told the cook. He ended up collapsing after eating a healthy portion of salad with garlic dressing on it. That buffet really is a vampire slayer.
  • Why was garlic the best at hide and seek? It always had an extra clove up its sleeve!
  • Did you hear about the new garlic diet that is all the rage now? It doesn’t do much for controlling your weight, but your friends will definitely think you are slimmer from a distance.
  • What is the best defense against Coronavirus? Eat a bunch of garlic with every meal, not because it does anything to prevent getting sick, but because it will keep people far enough away from you to prevent them from spreading their sickness to you.
  • What kind of garlic grows on trees? Garlichen!
  • What did the leek say to her garlic husband when he came in from the fields at the end of a hard day? Put your cloves in the washer before you come to bed.
  • Why do garlic bulbs not like to take showers? Because they do not like taking all their cloves off.
  • What’s a garlic’s favorite book? Lord of the Strings!
  • What do you call a garlic who sings? A garlic clove song!
  • Every year the garlic festival gets bigger and bigger, but the vampires never seem to attend. I guess you could say the number of times they’ve ignored the festival is countless.
  • The neighbor’s dog keeps getting into my garden and eating cloves of garlic and then wants to cuddle on the porch swing with me. The dog’s breath really is worse than his bite.
  • What do you get when you eat Italian food in an Irish restaurant? Gaelic breath!
  • Why did the garlic go to the party? It was a bulb life!
  • Why was garlic the best comedian? It knew how to spice up the puns!
  • Why did garlic get a promotion? It had a grate potential!
  • What’s a garlic’s favorite dance music? Electonic mus-clove!
  • Why was the garlic so popular? It had a lot of bulb-licity!
  • I wanted to cook a special dinner for my fiance but I couldn’t remember which herbs and spices to use in the dish, so I asked my chef friend for some help. It was sage advice, just in the nick of thyme too.
  • Why was the garlic always first place? It was on point, cloves to none!
  • What do you call eye drops that are used after cutting garlic or onions? Blinker fluid!
  • A man walked into the bakery and asked the baker for their three best garlic breads. The baker looked at the man for a moment and then proceeded to show him the best of the best. “We’ve got two of the best and one fake, ” said the baker. “What do you mean, ” the man asked with a puzzled look on his face? “We’ve got the best garlic twists and loaves in town. ”“And what about the fake one? ”“That would be the garlic knots. ”
  • Why was garlic the class favorite? It was voted bulb-iest!
  • What does an Irish chef use to season his dinner bread? Gaerlic!
  • Why was the garlic a good politician? It knew how to spice up a debate!
  • How’s garlic like an airplane? Both have sky-high peels!
  • Why does garlic make a good detective? They always get down to the root of the problem!
  • A couple of friends and I were hanging out at the local pizza joint last night when my brother showed up. He came over to say hi, snagged some garlic bread and fries, then laughed and ran off with his own friends. I really wish that he wouldn’t keep taking sides!
  • Why was the book about garlic a bestseller? It had a lot of layers to unveil!
  • Why was the garlic sent to the principal’s office? It was accused of a-salt!
  • What is the best way to make garlic toast? Pour a glass of bubbly, lift it high and speak loudly of all the wondrous it has been a part of.
  • Where do the garlic cloves go for a pint and a bite to eat? The salad bar!
  • Why did the garlic lose the race? It couldn’t ketchup!
  • Why did the garlic go to school? It was trying to be a bulb scholar!
  • My hipster friend burned his mouth again. He is known for eating garlic bread before it was cool.
  • I took the family to the local East Indian restaurant for dinner the other night and the kids really wanted some garlic bread. The server apologized and said that she couldn’t serve that. When I asked what the problem was, she said they didn’t have naan.
  • Why do garlic and onions make a great pair? They both know their layers.
  • Why was the garlic a gossip? It was a real cloves talker
  • What do you call a car that is packed with garlic, ginger and lemongrass that runs through a red light? It is a fragrant disregard of public safety.
  • How does a magician incorporate garlic into their magic act? They crush the garlic, add some herbs and spices, then they blend it all together with Alfredo, parmesan, olive oil and, PESTO!
  • When all are gathered and all that is left is nothing more than garlic and bread, what do you say about the lack of spread other than “with this seasoning, we bid you greetings. ”
  • What do you call an all garlic diet? A cloves encounter of the third kind!

And there you have it, folks! 45 rib-ticklers that surely had you laughing so hard, you might’ve popped a bulb—err, I mean rib. We truly hope these garlic puns brought a little zest to your day, maybe even enough to ward off a vampire or two. Remember, humor is like garlic; always best when shared with others. So, go on and pass these around like garlic bread at an Italian feast. Until next time, don’t forget add a pinch of laughter and a whole lot of garlic to life. Here’s to making every joke count, garlic or not!