42 Hilarious Mail Jokes That Deliver Loads of Laughs

Get ready to giggle and guffaw with our list of mail-themed humor! Whether you’re a mail carrier, love to send handwritten letters, or simply enjoy a good pun, you’re bound to find some knee-slappers in this collection. We’ve got envelope-and-stamp antics, post office puns, and enough letter-themed laughs to fill a mailbox to its brim!

Don’t keep your laughter in a sealed envelope; dive into this laughter ‘parcel’ filled with 42 zingers that will certainly ‘deliver’ an abundance of mirth. Yes, these jokes are certifiably first class, and we ensure every pun ‘packages’ in plenty of fun. So go ahead, open up this mailbox of merry-making, and you might find out that when it comes to humor, we always deliver!

  • Why is the post office full of spies? Because everything is sent undercover.
  • What do you call a postman that crosses paths with a dog and a werewolf? Terrified.
  • How does a pirate send his letters? In an aaaaargh-velope.
  • Why do postboxes make awful comedians? Their jokes are always delivered too late.
  • What do postal employees use when they cook? A postage pan.
  • What mail do horses get? Junk neigh-l.
  • I knew I wasn’t cut out to be a postman on my first day as soon as they gave me the sack.
  • An upset customer came into the post office while I was dropping a letter in the box today and was looking to return a booklet of “forever” stamps. When the clerk opened the booklet to see what the problem was, there were no stamps left in it. “I’m sorry sir, but there is nothing in here, you can’t make a return with an empty stamp booklet, ” said the clerk, somewhat irritated. “So you see what the problem is, don’t you, ” replied the man, “I’ve been swindled! ”
  • Why was the mailbox afraid of the dog? Because he thought he was up for some biting mail.
  • What is a postman’s favorite band? The Mail-ing Stones.
  • My friend who is a mailman has expressed a desire to give up his job to become a comedian, but I advised him against it as his delivery is just awful.
  • What medal did the postman receive during the war? None, because they were incapable of envelope-ing themselves in battle.
  • A local store had a new sign today that read “Now selling stamps by the book. ” I was relieved to know that they were following the proper guidelines.
  • What contains only one letter but has three E’s in it? An Envelope!
  • How do the mail carriers greet each other? With a parcel of hi’s.
  • What happened to the postman who forgot to post the letters? He was stamped with negligence.
  • Why is it so problematic to tell jokes about the post office? Because most people don’t get the jokes until the next day!
  • Why did the postman stop writing? He wanted to post-pone his letters.
  • Why are envelopes good comedians? They always crack you up when they deliver.
  • A woman was shouting into a large yellow envelope at the post office today when I was picking up a package. Curious, I asked her what she was doing. “Oh, I’m just sending a voicemail to a friend, ” she said.
  • Why was the mail carrier tense? Because he had a lot of express posts.
  • A marine biologist came into the post office to try and overnight a large package today. I took the measurements and informed them that the package was too large and that they would have to send it by air. Desperate, the marine biologist pleaded with me to make an exception as the package contained a very sick marine mammal that needed urgent care. Feeling sorry for the animal, I told the marine biologist that I’d check with my boss. The boss agreed and I informed the biologist that we would be able to make an exception, but just for this express porpoise.
  • How do mail carriers flirt? They always make sure to seal it with a kiss.
  • Why did the envelope fail to enlighten the crowd? It had poor deliverance.
  • Why did the villain target the post office? He was naturally a-mail-able.
  • What do you call a werewolf postman? A letter carrier that works through the howls.
  • What do you use to close a package for the mail under water? A seal.
  • I was at the post office today when a fight broke out. It was a real P. O. box.
  • How does a gardener send mail? Through flower mail or plant post.
  • Why do dogs get so riled up when they see the postman? The mail is almost never for them.
  • I couldn’t figure out why my aunt was always so against stamps. Finally, one day I asked her about it and she said it was because the stamps just sat in the corner all the time doing nothing but still got to travel all over the world while she worked her butt off and got to go nowhere.
  • Why did the envelope go to therapy? It felt like its life was in a constant state of being addressed.
  • Why did the mailbox go to school? It wanted to be more lettered.
  • We visited the postcard museum yesterday and were not all that impressed. It really wasn’t anything to write home about.
  • I stopped by the post office to mail two dozen letters today and got an equal number of stamps for the envelopes. The clerk handed me the stamps and I looked at them confused. “Do I apply all of these myself, ” I asked? “You put them on the envelopes, ” replied the clerk without skipping a beat.
  • A dog enters the post office and asks the clerk for a form to fill out for a telegram. He fills it out and hands it to the clerk. The message reads: “Woof, woofwoofwoof, woof woof, woof woof woof. ” The clerk informs the dog that for no extra fee they can add an extra woof if they would like. The dog says “I know, but that really would not make any sense. ”
  • Why don’t mail carriers need a watch? It’s always mail-time.
  • Why was the joke about the unstamped mail such a dud? It never got delivered.
  • What did the valentine say to the stamp? I sure hope you stick around, because we are a match.
  • What did one envelope say to the other? You’ve got mail.
  • What do you call a vampire’s letters? Fang mail.
  • Why was the mailbox very popular? Because a lot of people were dropping lines.

And that wraps up our envelope of laughs, folks! We’ve rummaged through our mailbag of giggles, and postmarked each pun for your amusement. If you’ve had as much fun as we have, send out a postcard of positivity and share these mail-inspired quips with your friends and family. After all, letters always deliver smiles miles away, so why shouldn’t these 42 stamps of humor do the same? Until next time, when we again stuff your mailbox with uncontrollable laughter and joy, keep circulating the smiles and express sending the giggles, because being your own postmaster of merriment is first-class!