67 Hilarious Neck-Themed Puns To Tickle Your Funny Bone

Get ready to loosen your tie because we’re diving headfirst into some hilariously cervical comedy! We’ve woven together an incredible compilation of 67 of the most chuckle-inducing, snigger-producing, side-splitting neck-themed puns that will have you collar-borating with laughter. This is no time for stiff necks — it’s time to let hilarity ensue!

Don’t worry, we promise none of these puns are a pain in the neck. In fact, they are the perfect jugular-vein of fun to brighten even the gloomiest days. So buckle up, brace yourself and prepare to giggle, chortle and maybe even guffaw your way down this delightful alley of a punny paradise. The fun starts here, folks! Now let’s carotid on with the show!

  • Did you hear about the necklace that became a pop star? It was the pearl-fect string of hits.
  • Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
  • A vampire walks into a bar and orders a Bloody Mary, extra neck-tar.
  • I neck-ver look back, unless I have swallowed my memory pill the wrong way.
  • The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
  • They say you should never look back. Looking back makes your neck hurt.
  • If you agree to a beard growing contest, you will find you and your competition neck and neck.
  • Did you hear about the choker necklace? It was too tight-lipped about its style.
  • As the man gently and ever so slowly slid his hand across his wife’s neck, below, under, all over her neck, making his way to her shoulders, she woke up. Whispering in a seductive voice she asked why he stopped. The husband whispered “I found the remote honey. Go back to sleep, the games on. ”
  • Fish might not have necks, but they always go with the flow.
  • Vampires are extremely competitive. They will always finish neck and neck.
  • Do not stick your neck out for a friend, you do not want to find out they are a vampire.
  • I will never recommend Dr. Acula. I left his office with much worse pain in my neck than when I came in.
  • Who knew I would get kicked out of the zoo for finding out if a giraffe’s neck was strong enough to hold a grown man?
  • My job interview was not going well. I could see the employer did not like neck tattoos. I explained that a job is like a neck tattoo. It shows you can do the same task for hours, never flinch if you are jabbed with very painful criticism and work well with others who are not even trying to be nice.
  • I love my turtle, even though he gets shell-shocked when things go turtle-y wrong and refuses to stick his neck out.
  • A frog with no neck is just unhoppy.
  • Why did the skeleton refuse the dinner invite? He didn’t have the stomach, but he also didn’t want to stick his neck out.
  • What do you call a woman who repairs your neck and is really good looking? A head turner.
  • How do giraffes communicate over long distances? They use their neck-work.
  • Now that I can look back, I laugh. When my neck was broken it was not funny.
  • My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigs tie. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
  • What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
  • Always trust a giraffe’s taste in music – they always pick the high notes.
  • A young man goes in to see a doctor. The doctor sees he looks fine, but the man reports he feels pain when he touches his toes, elbow, and neck. The doctor tells the young man, “your finger is broken. ”
  • Why did DMX freak out when he put on a crew neck sweater for the first time? Because he could not find the hood.
  • Songs about neck ties are just too catchy to knot listen to.
  • Call it a tie if there is an award for the best neck wear of the year.
  • Never get into an argument with your chiropractor. Spending the rest of your life looking over your shoulder will make you regret it.
  • My procedure saved my life, and my neck is permanently locked. I will never look back.
  • You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck. ”
  • You will never look back if you have your neck infused.
  • Every morning clowns wake up with sore necks. This is because they sleep funny.
  • There is no cure for reptile dysfunction. Turtles who suffer with this will never get their necks out of their own shell.
  • Why did the scarecrow always wear a scarf? He didn’t want to be caught with a straw neck.
  • The bodies are really starting to pile up, the sound before I throw them in the pile is so satisfying. I have been so happy since I learned how to crack a neck.
  • If you want to call the Dalai Lama, make sure you have the correct number. I called Dial-A-Llama and now own a goat with a very strange neck.
  • The turtle had a rough day; it lost its shell and wouldn’t come out of its neck.
  • A guillotine is a drink that will instantly numb you from the neck down.
  • A multi-layered person has a double neck.
  • Why was the man in the turtleneck so calm? He learned to take a few moments every day and just turtle around.
  • Now that men with neck tattoos make me lattes, I am not afraid of them anymore.
  • It is funny, I have not looked back once since I got this neck brace.
  • Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
  • One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
  • Why did the chicken join a band? Because he had the drumsticks. And the neck for music.
  • A giraffle is a chance to win a spotted, long-necked pet.
  • Vampires love to socialize – they are always out for a bite and neckworking.
  • A giraffe must have a long neck. Look how far their body is from their head.
  • Neck braces aren’t the coolest fashion statement, but they do keep you looking forward.
  • Kissing my girlfriends neck makes me a neck romancer.
  • I cannot figure out why everyone went crazy on the bus just because I gave a perfect stranger a romantic gesture by kissing her on the neck. I am sure her slapping me meant she thought I was sweet.
  • The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you. ”
  • The turtle went to the party and really stuck its neck out on the dance floor.
  • Did you hear about the crime at the museum? Someone stole the dinosaur’s neck bone, they took it right from under their nose.
  • Never gamble on a giraffe race. Just when you think you are winning by a neck, you lose by one.
  • There is no chance of someone waking up with a sore neck if the coffin has a soft pillow.
  • My husband was in so much pain and could not turn his neck. Since he could not look sideways, I told him to look forward to a massage later.
  • Why was the necklace a great gossip? It really knew how to keep everyone strung along.
  • To ward off vampires you must always sleep with one eye open and your hands covering your neck.
  • That was a head turner.
  • The mane thing about horses that I love is the beautiful hair that runs across their neck.
  • Neckwear is an important part of attire when attending a prominent event. However, one official was inappropriately outraged at what he was wearing. He went on a wild tie rant.
  • Why did the neck wear fail at its job? It couldn’t keep things tied together.
  • The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field, but he never got a-head of himself.
  • You do not have enough cement if your mother-in-law is only covered in it up to her neck.
  • No need to feel down, just keep your chin up. Even if it is resting on your second neck.

Well, we’ve surely neck-serted a lot of humor into your day, haven’t we? With these 67 neck-themed puns, we had you ‘body laughing’, ‘head-over-heels’, and even adjusting your ‘collar’ to gasp for air between laughs. This humorous journey was all about tickling that funny bone, adding a ‘neck-cessary’ levity to your day and proving laughter is the best ‘medicine’. So, neck-st time you’re in need of a punny pick-me-up, you know where to look! Neck’s time, folks, keep on ‘chuckle-ling’.