55 Hilarious Road Puns & Jokes That Will Drive You Wild

Fasten your seatbelts and adjust your mirrors, we’re about to hit the hilarious highway! Leading you down the comedic route, we’ve collected a traffic jam of 55 top-tier road-themed puns and jokes that are sure to steer you towards laughter. This ride is going to be smooth, full of fun, and of course, filled to the brim with pun-tastic wordplay.

If you’ve been searching for the junction between humor and adventure, you’ve arrived at the right destination. From clever wheeled-witticisms to guffaw-inducing quips about the open road, you’re guaranteed to find more laughs than potholes here! So buckle up your giggle belts, folks! We’ve got miles of mirth ahead that will leave you in splits, eager to read on. Get ready for a hilarious road trip on the lane of laughter!

  • Why was the road sad? Because people were always calling it asphalt.
  • What do you call a highway that sings? A road that hits all the High C’s.
  • I went on a diet that had me following the rocky road.
  • One day, I asked my mom where the road went, and she told me nowhere.
  • Amputees are the elite during road trips because they are always on their last leg.
  • When I go on a road trip with my boyfriend it is very touch and go. We had to stop every hour for an embrace because of his severe anxiety.
  • I was chatting with my brother. My brother wanted  to surprise his girlfriend with a road trip up north.  I said “where, Alaska? ” He yelled at me not to because it was a surprise.
  • Why did the traffic light turn red? It saw the incoming car and blushed.
  • Overheard someone at the market say, “We’re done, let’s get on and hit the road, ” so I intervened and advised them not to do so because it would hurt.
  • My road’s traffic lights had failed. There was no change.
  • Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
  • I was hooked on auctions, but after losing work, I was forced off the bidding road.
  • The path to my heart is paved with chocolate, set your roadmaps accordingly.
  • The crosswalk painter was the most decisive, he never took the middle of the road approach.
  • Why did the GPS break up with the car? It was tired of telling it where to go.
  • Crossroads are the main cause of road rage.
  • The fish crossed the road for what reason? Pelican Crossing.
  • We drove through Iowa on a road trip. We decided to stop by a farm on the side of the road. It was harvest time. I asked to speak to the farmer about purchasing some fresh, yellow corn. The farmer seemed really busy and had no time. He told me, ” My apologies, I am up to my ears during the harvest. ”
  • Why did the empty bottle run across the road? To try and catch some spirit.
  • Your own decisions have paved the road you’ve taken, which makes it your own asphalt.
  • The toilet paper didn’t cross the road because it became entangled in a crack.
  • While driving on the main road in the town, a bug splattered on our windshield. He probably won’t have the guts to repeat that.
  • I was shocked but all the signs pointed to my dad stealing from his road worker job.
  • Yesterday, I discovered a fork in the road outside the neighborhood deli shop.
  • What do you call a turkey crossing the road? A poultry in motion.
  • The hedgehog crossed the road for what reason? To visit his flatmate.
  • The dogs were running after the skeleton in the road. It threw them a bone.
  • The crab crossed the road for what reason? He desired to walk on a different sidewalk.
  • How does the sun greet the road every morning? With a beaming smile.
  • I think of the old saying, “You are what you eat, ” whenever I come across a dead vulture in the road.
  • Road construction is done when you put a fork in it.
  • Why did the car apply for a job? It was tired of freeloading.
  • What did the street say when it was feeling hot? “I’m really potholed now!”.
  • What do you call a road full of rubies and emeralds? The Jewel Carriageway.
  • A man enters a bar carrying a chunk of asphalt and declaring, “one for me and one for the road. ”
  • Why did the orange stop rolling down the road? It ran out of juice.
  • Why was the dinosaur the first to cross the road, you ask? Because there was no chicken.
  • The chicken crossed the road to prove to the squirrel it could be done safely.
  • Why did the boy break the traffic rule? To create a bad-break.
  • The music band White Line is in the middle of the road.
  • I knew an outlaw who was named Freeway because he loved to hit the road.
  • I just witnessed a cop arrest a pregnant dog on the side of the road because it was littering.
  • The road was telling the car that had a flat tire, “I feel deflated”.
  • Why did the tree stop in the median? It wanted to branch out to both sides of the road.
  • Why does a bike lean against the wall? Because it is two-tired.
  • Nothing makes a road trip more enjoyable for me than sleeping through it. However, they always remind you to keep your eyes on the road.
  • The path to success is a road well-traveled, but success is nowhere in sight.
  • Do you know what happens when you take a road out of the city? They will make you put it back.
  • Why the cab driver was a good navigator? Because he always trailed the road of least resistance.
  • I saw a woman spill all of her Scrabble letters on the road and asked, “What’s the word on the street? ”
  • What does one road say to a freeloader? You’re driving me crazy.
  • How can you tell which of two potatoes is the prostitute when they are standing at the corner of the road? Look for the one labeled Idaho.
  • What happens when you spill jelly on the road? A traffic jam.
  • Why don’t vehicles talk to each other on the road? They don’t wish to engage in highway conversation.
  • I went on a road trip with my son and husband. When we started down the highway, the sun shined right directly in my face, so I pulled the shade down. I said to my husband that the sun was so bright, even with it being so far away. My husband said to me, ” He isn’t far away, he is sitting right behind you. ”

Well, fellow travelers, we’ve come to the end of our road trip journey full of puns and jokes. We’ve chuckled, snickered, and belly laughed our way through all 55 of these clever ‘highway humor’ detours – oh, the places they’ve taken us! But remember, the fun doesn’t stop here; you can always hit rewind and take this ride again. Keep your funny engines running and never let the comedic traffic jam inside you. So, buckle up, keep your eyes on the laughter lane and continue to steer clear of boredom. Happy road tripping, folks! Commuting will never be the same again!