53 Hilarious Sign Puns That Will Blow Your Mind With Laughter

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, to a delightful spectacle of wit, humor, and sign-based shenanigans! Get ready to be dazzled, tickled, and mind-blown by our premium assortment of hilarious pun-intended humor, all jingling around that everyday marvel we call ‘signs.’ No, we’re not talking about those mysterious cosmic signs – we’re bringing the laughter closer to home with the humble road signs, store signs and more!

Buckles up and holds onto your bellies, because we’re about to embark on a rib-tickling journey through an incredible list of 53 side-splitting puns! We promise that these clever morsels of wordplay and observational humor will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. So, are you ready? Onwards, then, into the hilarious world of sign puns! Trust us, these well ‘sign-posted’ laughs are too good to miss!

  • I just got a new job, and HR asked me to sign up for the 401K. I’m nervous because I don’t think I can run that far.
  • I bought a wooden whistle, but it wouldn’t play. I guess it was a soundless sign.
  • What did the calendar tell the week? March 1st is a sign of the times!
  • My brother was arrested for stealing an “and emergency” sign. I guess he found it by accident.
  • What do you call a very relaxed traffic sign? Stop and rest a while.
  • Why did the stop sign turn red? It saw the yield sign changing!
  • Why was the road sign a good student? It always knew the route to success.
  • I saw a store with a sign saying, “guide dogs welcome. ” I decided to stop in and was greeted by a labrador who offered to take my coat.
  • I visited my local zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said it was “bread in captivity. ”
  • Did you see the new billboard with the huge clock on it? It’s a sign of the times.
  • I need to buy a car but have terrible credit. Thankfully I have a Sign-if-I-can’t other.
  • The new highway billboard says, “Future events. ” I guess it’s a sign of things to come.
  • Selling free corpses isn’t a sign someone is completely crazy. It’s a dead giveaway.
  • Why are ghosts bad liars? Because they are too transparent, it’s a dead giveaway sign.
  • They just hung a “No Parking” sign outside of the swamp. It says “Frog Parking Only. All Others Will Be Toad. ”
  • Why did the baker’s advertising campaign fail? Their ‘bun for sale’ sign was half-baked!
  • My mom got fired from her job at the grocery store for hanging a sign saying, “take lettuce from top or heads will roll. ”
  • What do you call a billboard that says “future events? ” A sign of things to come.
  • My friend quit his job as a baker because they kneaded him to sign too many rolls.
  • I was driving home and noticed a sign saying, “Men digging road ahead. ” I thought, “Wow, I’m digging it too, man. ”
  • Why do we never ask secrets from a whiteboard? It always gives clear signs.
  • I saw a huge transparent billboard on the highway yesterday. I said, “Wow, that’s a clear sign. ”
  • I was driving home when I noticed a sign that said “low trees. ” So, I got out and gave them all a hug.
  • I would not accept my mom was stealing from her job at the traffic department. Unfortunately, all the signs were there.
  • My dad was fired for stealing wet floor signs from his job. No one could believe it, but the signs were all there.
  • Why don’t some people trust atoms? Because they can’t take anything for ‘sign’-ted.
  • What did the stop sign say to its children? Don’t move, hold your position!
  • I drove past a rehab center last week with a new sign out front. “Keep off the grass. ”
  • The bad news is one of the first notable signs of cognitive impairment is the inability to finish a sentence. The good news is…
  • I was shopping in a perfume store last week when I noticed a sign on a tester bottle saying “out of odor. ”
  • What do you call a transparent billboard? A clear sign.
  • Every night, the moon signs in using its exclusive password – moonlight.
  • What do you call a new sign made from only glass? Clear instructions.
  • I’m not sure If I should sign up for a 401k. I don’t think I can run that far.
  • I was looking for a sign to stop my addiction to freeways…but the road to recovery is the highway.
  • ‘Why did the sign post go to school? It wanted to know the route of its problems.
  • Why did the traffic light apply for a job? It wanted to stop sign-ding around!
  • What do you call the sign at a bread shop? A loafboard.
  • What did the empty perfume bottle sign say? Out of odor.
  • What do you call a thief that steals road signs? Someone pulling out all the stops.
  • I cut my own hair and put up a self-made sign. It’s called sign-hair-cut!
  • What did the math textbook sign say? “I’ve got problems.”
  • I thought custom-made signs were all the rage, but apparently, they’re on the way out.
  • The sign in the parking garage read, “You will be charged after 2 hours. ” That’s great, I thought while parking my electric car.
  • Why did the green light go to the psychologist? It had a stop sign complex.
  • I was shopping at the mall with my family when I saw a sign stating, “watch for children. ” I’ll really miss them, but I love my new Rolex.
  • Have you heard of the criminal that stole all of the road signs? He pulled out all the stops.
  • Why did the peace sign go to school? It wanted to become a keynote speaker.
  • Why don’t scientists trust the element of surprise? Because it’s always a sign of trouble.
  • Why did the octopus cross the road? It saw a sign saying Safety in numbers.
  • What do you call a sign that communicates? A dialog.
  • A police officer notices a car driving slowly and decides to pull them over. He approaches the car and asks the elderly driver: “Why are you driving so slowly? ”“The sign says 10 back there. ”“That’s route 10; the speed limit is 60. ”At this point, the driver notices the elderly passengers are nervous and out of breath. “Are your passengers all right? ” the officer asks. “They’re fine. We just got off route 250. ”
  • My dad works for a company that prints “for sale” signs. I asked if they needed to do a lot of advertising, but he said they sell themselves.

And there you have it folks! 53 rib-tickling, hilariously crafted sign puns that we bet left your laughter signs flashing like a frantic road worker! Now don’t hang up a ‘Do Not Disturb’ just yet, as we promise to keep on delivering puns that will cause gusts of infectious laughter, so contagious, you might need a quarantine sign. Remember, every time life flashes a ‘Stop’ sign, turn to our puns—they have a ‘Yield’ sign towards laughter!