95 Hilarious Water Puns That’ll Make You Overflow with Laughter

Ready to dive into a sea of laughter? Buckle up because we’re about to splash you with a wave of 95 of the most hilariously refreshing water related puns and jokes. It doesn’t matter if it’s H2O or H2-Oh-No, our comedy scientists have perfectly distilled this list to guarantee maximum laughter. Hold on to your rubber duckies folks, because these jokes are so funny, they’ll have you laughing your sea-shells off.

Don’t worry about getting in too deep or drowning in laughter – we’re sure you can stay afloat. Each joke is specially H2-optimized to tickle your funny bone and leave you gasping for air, while steering clear of sinking into the abyss of bad humor. So, why just dip your toes when you can plunge right in? Let’s embark on this laughter cruise and remember, with us, the puns are always intended!

  • How do docks float? Pier pressure.
  • What do the fish say when they run into the wall? Dam.
  • Why did the water bottle feel left out? Because it was not included in the water cooler conversations.
  • If you see videos of running water on the internet that’s called a live stream.
  • The coach asked Roger if I could swim underwater. He said, “I wouldn’t hold your breath. ”
  • What goes up when rain comes down? Umbrellas.
  • What did the ocean say to the beach? Love you tide and back.
  • When a store sells water they call it a liquidation.
  • Why don’t oceans date ponds? They think they’re shallow.
  • Where do meteorologists like to drink after work? The closest ISOBAR.
  • What would you call a guy throwing his laptop into the ocean? Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
  • What does a French water say when it leaves? Eau revoir.
  • When do you use ketchup in the rain? When it’s raining cats and hot dogs.
  • Why do people love to sail on calm waters? It gives them a sense of pieceanimity.
  • Archimedes’ approach to a water pump was screwed.
  • What do you call a light rain of candy? It sprinkles!
  • What did the sink say to the water faucet? You’re a real drip.
  • When you complete water slide construction you require a dry run.
  • What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend.
  • A duck that won’t go in the water is a chicken.
  • Why was the little brook feeling blue? Because his mother river went to sea.
  • RIP to Boiled Water. You will be sorely mist.
  • Sea I will never stop the water puns.
  • When the police boat fills with water it needs to be bailed out.
  • What did the sink say to the water tap? You are my better half.
  • What do you call it when it rains money? Change in the weather.
  • Is this real life or is this just fanta sea?
  • How did the water introduce itself? The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
  • Why should water never get into fights? It only ends up in a pool of tears.
  • Why did the ocean leave the party early? She was getting tide.
  • Ending up in hot water may be the result of upsetting a cannibal.
  • How would Watergate be done in Scotland? With scotch tape.
  • How does the ocean break up with its girlfriend? I think we should sea other people.
  • Why did the lake date the river? She had a bubbly personality.
  • Why do sharks only swim in saltwater? Because pepper would make them sneeze.
  • Water you doing? said the ocean when she caught the river running.
  • Every time I take a drink from a bottle, it keeps pouring back. Must be spring water.
  • The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside. You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
  • Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby? It was a buoy!
  • Why does water never laugh at jokes? It doesn’t appreciate dry humor.
  • Why did the cloud always take the spotlight? It thought it could rain on everyone’s parade.
  • H20 is water, but what is H204? It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
  • What do water molecules play at parties? Musical currents.
  • What do you call water that is good for you? Well water.
  • Yogi had a water, whiskey and tea drink everyday. He was a toddy bear.
  • What is worse than when it is raining buckets? Hailing taxis.
  • Why do water molecules enjoy comedy club? Because they have a fluid sense of humor.
  • What does water do when it is embarrassed? Turns into vapour.
  • What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation? A rain of terror.
  • What would water say if it could talk? Stop taking me for granted.
  • What did the beaver say when he slipped on some water? Dam it.
  • Diving in shallow water could lead to jumping to the wrong conclusion.
  • Why did Snoop Dog need an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.
  • What weather did the king prefer? Reign!
  • I use boats to del-river my packages.
  • Why are oceans so detail-obsessed? They like to be pacific.
  • Why do poets always write about the sea? They just can’t fathom her depths.
  • Why don’t you see oceans in school? They just can’t wade through the homework.
  • As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.
  • Why did the river start losing her memories? Because she is becoming sea nile.
  • Why did the cloud break up with the rain? It was mist-ing the point.
  • Why are rivers always on time? She likes to stay current.
  • How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
  • What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once? England.
  • How did the pen get across water? Biro-ing.
  • What doctor runs their clinic underwater? A sturgeon.
  • Why is a river an amazing roommate? They just go with the flow.
  • Why did the ocean refuse to fight the lake? It thought the whole idea was shallow.
  • Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube? He couldn’t stream the video.
  • Why is seawater so friendly? It always waves back.
  • What did the river say to her disobedient kids? Don’t test the waters!
  • What can you do if you are the ocean? Watever you want.
  • Where do water molecules do their homework? The Library of Con-dense-ation.
  • Why does the river never get lost? They find the right pathwave.
  • Wanted to play water polo but the horses wouldn’t swim.
  • How do raindrops ask each other out? He asked her “Water you doing tonight? ”
  • My friend couldn’t afford the water bill anymore. I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
  • Why does the water never lose in a fight? Because it always goes with the flow.
  • How do you address 3 holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
  • Two reasons why you should never drink toilet water. Number one. And number two.
  • Why are some water bodies so good at math? They know how to go with the ebb and flow.
  • Someone dug a hole in my yard and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
  • How would you praise a river that did well on a test? Well flowed!
  • If Smart water were actually smart… Then why did it get bottled?
  • Who do waters always vote for? The current leader.
  • The choice between a water control project or the all-weather stadium was a no-win situation. Dammed if you do, doomed if you don’t.
  • How do you determine an ant’s gender? Toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
  • What weather do kings like most? Hail, of course!
  • What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
  • That shore was a long comment.
  • Where do water droplets go to settle arguments? The Supreme Quart.
  • What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby? Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
  • Water-skiing can be a drag sometimes.
  • What do oceans say to each other? Nothing, they wave.
  • Consuming a whole bucket of water could turn you pail.

Well, there you have it folks – a tidal wave of 95 buoyantly hilarious water puns and jokes that left us sinking in laughter. We hope you had a splashing good time reading it as much as we did compiling it. Remember, laughter is the best life jacket on the sea of life. So let these puns wash over you and keep you afloat even in troubled waters. Don’t hold back – dive headfirst into humor and keep making waves of laughter with these rip-roaring water puns!