60 Unbelievable Umbrella Jokes to Brighten Your Day

Get ready for a downpour of hilarity as you dive into our drizzle of an invigorating blend – a massive cumulonimbus of 60 zesty umbrella-themed jokes and puns! We’ve ironically concocted this fun-filled forecast to brighten even the cloudiest of days, where our goofy, light-hearted and umbrella-centric word play promises to be the raincheck your day needs!

Joyously jump into a puddle of puns that will have you splashing with laughter and grinning like a Cheshire cat under a parasol! For those sheltering under the gloomy clouds, this comedy deluge is exactly what you need – a laughter hurricane to blow those cobwebs away. So, give your funny bone a good tickle with these eccentric, umbrella-infused jokes. We can assure you, this quirky collection will make your humor meter go off the charts like a thunderstorm – because who needs it to rain cats and dogs when you can shower in smiles and laughter?

  • Why did the umbrella go to therapy? It had trouble opening up.
  • Why did the newbie at the umbrella factory lose his job? He couldn’t handle it.
  • Why do umbrellas tend to be good comedians? Because they always crack up.
  • A teacher asks her class to draw and color a dog holding an umbrella. She notices Jake coloring his dog green and asks him, “Where did you see a green dog? ”He replies, “Where did you see a dog holding an umbrella? ”
  • What always catches someone’s eye? Short people with umbrellas.
  • I tried to tell my friends some clever jokes about umbrellas. But they just went over their heads.
  • Who is the most undercover male? Umbrella Jackson.
  • My girlfriend bought me an expensive umbrella, and she has been holding it over my head ever since.
  • Why was there an umbrella on the ice cream? Because there were too many sprinkles.
  • I tried to fix my umbrella but no luck. Guess sometimes you just have to let the reigns go.
  • Why doesn’t the angel use an umbrella? Because he’s too holy.
  • Why did the umbrella need to go to the therapist? He was told he had trouble opening up.
  • Why do folks in the city usually carry umbrellas? Because umbrellas can’t walk.
  • The weather forecast calls for rain, therefore, I’ll bring an umbrella. It is the wetness protection program.
  • Yesterday at the beach, a man was sleeping on a towel opposite the lifeguard, adjacent to an unopened umbrella. When he woke up, he was a tan gent.
  • Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They are making headlines everywhere.
  • A farmer and a penguin walk into a pub. The penguin starts devouring the tiny, fancy drink umbrellas. The bartender tells the farmer, “Your eggplant has to pay for those. ”The penguin replies, “He is not an eggplant. He is retarded.
  • Why do we never want to scare an umbrella while it’s closed? It might Open up unexpectedly.
  • My friend wants a chicken-proof umbrella. She wants to use it when the weather is fowl.
  • How did the three elephants standing under one umbrella not get wet? It was not raining.
  • Why do umbrellas never win poker games? They always fold.
  • When did the detective carry an umbrella? Because he was undercover.
  • Why did she put a tiny umbrella in a dry martini? To keep it from getting wet.
  • The IRS agent told the older man he couldn’t deduct an umbrella. He asked, “Why not? It’s overhead, isn’t it? ”
  • Why do we never check weather reports for Saturday? Because seven days is too weak.
  • Two umbrellas are having a chat. Umbrella 1: You don’t look too good. Is everything alright? Umbrella 2: No. I’ve actually been feeling under the weather.
  • Dad: What do you get when you cross a road with an umbrella? Me: I don’t know that one. Dad: To the other side, nice and dry.
  • I saw a man selling umbrellas the other day. Ironically, he didn’t have an umbrella. I was curious and asked him why. He replies, “I don’t like to stay dry off my own supply. ”
  • What did the umbrella say to its haters? I’m just venting.
  • Why do umbrellas make terrible detectives? Because they are easy to see through.
  • Why don’t umbrellas get promoted? Because they always get stuck at the same level, keeping things on hold.
  • Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  • Why did Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
  • What does an umbrella tell a rainy weather? Enough with the pouring attitude.
  • My wife asked me why Santa uses a big umbrella. I told her, “Because of all the rain, dear. ”
  • Why was the umbrella blushing? Because it saw the rain pants.
  • The Penguin opened his umbrella during Batman’s family reunion. He said it was a Wayne-y day.
  • My friend studying Economics advised me to put something away for a rainy day. I’ve decided to go for an umbrella.
  • The umbrella was vexed that it rained every time she went out. So she stormed out and winded up leaving.
  • My friend asked her iPhone, “Do I really need to carry an umbrella? ”Siri said, “Yes. Don’t call me Shirley again. ”Apparently, she had left Airplane mode on.
  • The person who invented the umbrella wanted to name it the “Brella. ”However, he hesitated.
  • Why do umbrellas make terrible partners? They keep trying to cover you up.
  • What kind of pub should you go to with an umbrella? An Isobar.
  • What does a tree and an umbrella have in common? They both open up to provide shade.
  • Did you hear that the energizer bunny was arrested? He was charged with battery.
  • I’m tired of visitors soaking my floor when they come to my house. I think it is time to make a stand.
  • A little girl was carrying a big umbrella. She said that it helps her stand up to the weather.
  • I just got off work at the umbrella factory. I was only covering for my friend.
  • Why is an umbrella a great friend to have? Because they stand up for you when it’s raining cats and dogs.
  • My umbrella broke in half. It’s okay, though, since there is only a 50% chance of rain.
  • Umbrella companies can never be trusted. They run a shady business.
  • I gave a girl my umbrella the other day. The number of girls I’ve made wet this year is now -1.
  • What did the umbrella say to the bench? I got you covered.
  • The man put the umbrella away and opened his wallet. He was expecting some change in the weather.
  • Paddington without an umbrella is a drizzly bear.
  • What is the name of a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
  • What does an umbrella and Cannabis have in common? Both give shade and relief.
  • My wife and I were driving in the car the other day when our six-year-old son found an umbrella and opened it. My wife screamed at him to close the umbrella since it was not safe to open it in a moving vehicle. I told her there was no need to overreact since the car had Umbrella insurance.
  • Why didn’t the bike want to go for a swim? Because it was too tired.
  • An arrogant rich man was talking to his servant. Rich man: Go and water the flowers. Servant: But it’s already raining, sir. Rich man: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

Well folks, that’s a wrap on our list of 60 giggles under the umbrella! As your laughter rains down, remember that even a cloudy day can bring a ray of sunshine with a well-timed pun or two. So, whether you’re looking to shower someone with hilarity or simply forecast a tornado of titters, these umbrella-themed jokes are sure to keep you covered. We hope these have helped you weather the storm of everyday life with a grin and a guffaw. Until next time, keep your humor high even when the umbrellas have to be up!