69 Hilarious Candle Jokes That Will Ignite Your Laughter

Light up your day with a glow that only humor can provide! Who knew candles could be such a riot – they’re not just for birthday cakes and fancy dinners any more. We’ve waxed poetic and punny to craft a set of 69 delightful wick-ed jokes about candles. These puns and one-liners are guaranteed to spark laughter like a flame flickering in the wind.

Don’t extinguish your curiosity, lean in and let each joke kindle a new chuckle. Whether you’re a seasoned jokester or a shy giggle-guarder, these candle jokes will brighten your day. They’re the perfect way to add a spark to your next gathering or to simply fan the flames of your own amusement. Get ready for some belly laughs and maybe even a snort or two – these candle jokes are truly on fire!

  • Why did the candle go into the cave? It was time to hi-burn-ate.
  • He borrowed his friend’s candle without asking her first. She was incensed.
  • Five men were on a ship and had six candles, but had nothing with them that could light the candles. Therefore, they decided to throw a candle overboard and the whole ship became a candle lighter.
  • What did the candle tell the match? You light up my world.
  • My brother opted for small candles to be used as decorations for his party. His place looks tealight-ful.
  • She has a lot of pressure from her work not only candlelly but also physically.
  • My candle creation business is taking off, my profits are truly soaring to candle-light speeds.
  • What is a candle’s favorite weather? Light breezes, they find the wind disconcerting.
  • What do candles do when they retire? They burn out.
  • What type of sale did the local candle store have? A blowout sale.
  • Candle to its friend – Why don’t you ever show up early at parties? You always burn the midnight oil.
  • Why did the candle reject the light bulb’s dinner invitation? It wanted to stick to a light diet.
  • My dad bought a gold-scented candle and burned it. It had a very rich aroma.
  • How did the candle give such incredible answers? He was enlightened.
  • Which game did the candle like the most? Wax-a-mole.
  • Why did the candle join a musical band? Because it has a deep burning desire for band-les.
  • What is the difference between a skinny horseman and a candle? One is a light knight, and the other is a night light.
  • My daughter met someone new at the candle store some months ago. Their relationship started with candlelight, but it only lasted for a wick.
  • I went to the local store to buy candle holders but couldn’t find any. I just bought a cake instead.
  • The candle was eating another candle. It was an act of candlebalism.
  • She wanted to start a candle-making company, but her family didn’t think it was a good idea. She kept reassuring them that it makes scents.
  • The candle’s dating profile said that it was fun, bright and doesn’t like long walks due to its short wick.
  • The local candle factory was not making enough money. It is probably because they only made a few scents.
  • Why did the two candles break up? There was no spark left.
  • Why did the candle go to the doctor? It felt like it was burning at both ends.
  • Why did the candle score an F in math? Because it was a little light-headed.
  • Why couldn’t the candle sleep? There is no rest for the wicked.
  • My brother always demands that candles be put on his cakes. That’s wishful thinking.
  • Why was the candle sad? Because his friends blew him off.
  • There was a box of candles that I received yesterday. I candled them with care.
  • Why was the candle feeling cold? It was experiencing a severe draft.
  • Why was the wax feeling down? It was in a meltdown.
  • The man was not happy with the pay he got while working at the candle factory. The boss told him to focus on the burn-efits.
  • The local soccer team loses more matches than when I’m trying to light a candle at night.
  • What’s the name of a candle that always has savage replies? Wicked.
  • What type of insurance do candle companies apply for? Waxident insurance.
  • A Buddhist man gave my friend a “Nirvana” scented candle. It smelled like Teen Spirit.
  • My friend invited us to a party at his house the other day. Everybody was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
  • The weak candle flickered the whole night. It was going through a sick burn.
  • Two friends were having a chat at the bar. Friend 1: What do you think Jay-Z’s house smells like? Friend 2: Ambeyonce.
  • I bought my friend a candle extinguisher. He was de-lighted.
  • Why did the candle get in trouble at school? It was always burning out early.
  • I bought my brother some candles for his room. It was quite lit.
  • What’s the name of a candle that has been made of melted remains of other candles? Frankincense.
  • Why did the girl wait to blow out her birthday candles? She wanted to wax poetic.
  • Did you hear about the candle that graduated from university? It’s now a wick-ed smart aleck.
  • Everyone talks about how scented candles are wonderful. But I know they are wicked.
  • How long is the life of a candle? Not too long, it’s always at the end of its wick.
  • Which parts of the fish were used to make the candle? Paraffins.
  • What’s the name of a fraud who works in a candle factory? A Scandle.
  • My friend was trying to find a way to make candles burn longer. I told him, “You cannot. They burn shorter. ”
  • What did the chess player say to the candle? Check, mate!
  • What does a candle say to its therapist? I feel like I’m burning out.
  • The candle didn’t eat food at night. It only had a little snack. I guess we can call that a light dinner.
  • The manager at the local candle factory was arrested. He didn’t pay for his waxes.
  • Why didn’t the candle burn during the week? Because it only burns on wick ends.
  • What did the candle tell its friend? I’m going out tonight.
  • How does a candle tell its life story? With burning passion.
  • My brother missed his chance to blow on his candles and make a wish. The candles went out and he blew it.
  • What’s the name of the assassin who only uses candles as his weapon? John Wick.
  • Purchasing a scented candle is such a whiff-raff transaction.
  • What happened when all of the candles went out at once? It was a total blowout!
  • Why was the candle always ignored? Others thought it was just full of hot air.
  • Why did the candle quit his job? He was too burnt out.
  • How did the angel light the candle? Using a match made in heaven.
  • Which is the best place to learn about candles? Wickipedia.
  • Where did the candle family prefer to visit the most? The Wax Museum.
  • Why did the matchmaker introduce a matchstick and a candle? They were a perfect light.
  • How do candles greet each other? They say Wick-ed to meet you.

Well, there you have it, folks – we’ve burned through every last one of our fabulously funny candle gags! These 69 firecrackers sure entertained us and we hope they’ve lit up your day too. Remember, laughter is the flame that keeps your heart glowing. So, anytime you’re feeling a little dim or need to spark a giggle, just dip back into our pun-soaked candle jokes. Until next time, keep your wick sharp and your sense of humor fiery!