53 Hilarious Hammer Puns That Will Nail Your Funny Bone

Strap in, folks, because we’ve got an array of rib-tickling, hammer-themed hilarity headed your way! Brace yourselves as you’re about to encounter a total of 53 nail-bitingly hilarious hammer puns that are sure to strike a chord with your funny bone, and leave you in splits. Fear not, all our puns are carefully whittled to be family-friendly and promise a hearty laugh for everyone involved.

So if you’re on the lookout for something truly pun-derful, then this list is sure to hit the nail on the head. Prepare to be hammer-struck by a laugh riot, as we bring a toolbox full of humor straight to your screens. These side-splitting jokes will keep you entertained and guessing, as you delve deeper into the humorously hard-hitting world of hammers. So, what are you waiting for? Hammer in the fun, and let’s get cracking!

  • What happens when the god of thunder drops his hammer? He gets a Thor foot.
  • Want to know how to stop hammer time? Just hit the pause nail.
  • What is one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time? The jackhammer!
  • What did the farmer say when he saw a sleepy cow swinging a hammer around in the barn? “I guess that cow really wants to hit the hay! ”
  • Why was the hammer shunned by the other tools in the shed? Because he was very blunt.
  • Why did the nail file a report against the hammer? It got hit on.
  • My friend had yet to meet a few of my favorite tools, so I introduced him to the chisel, the hammer, and the saw. He already knew the drill though.
  • How does a hammer break the ice at parties? By making a smash!
  • How does a hammer do laundry? Hangs it out to dry and smashes the wrinkles.
  • I gave my friend a hammer because he wanted to be a hit at parties.
  • Why did the nail break up with the hammer? It was tired of being struck all the time.
  • Did you hear about the tight-rope walking hammer? It’s always on edge.
  • Why does the military not allow hammers to be carried on missions? Because missions are not drills!
  • How does the hammer greet the nail in the morning? It gives it a hard hit.
  • Why did the hammer go to school? To get hammered with knowledge!
  • What’s a hammer’s favorite dance move? The nail slide!
  • Why did the hammer constantly feel sick? He kept hitting his head.
  • Why do frogs dislike hammers so much? Because they are a toad’s tool!
  • Why was the hammer a bad comedian? It always nailed the punchline too hard.
  • What do you call a song about hammers? An absolute banger.
  • I was repairing the fence around our yard today and ran out of nails on the last few sections, so I asked my wife if she could bring another twenty nails or so. She gave me a serious look and said “I’ve got twenty nails, my love, but I would much prefer them to remain un-hammered. ”
  • What is the favorite toothpaste among all the tools? Arm and Hammer!
  • What does a hammer wear to a fancy dinner? A tux and bow-tie, he wants to nail it.
  • I tried to tell a hammer joke at the hardware store, but nobody found it riveting.
  • How did the hammer get his point across to the rest of the tools? He drove the nail point through the wall and out the other side.
  • What’s a hammer’s favorite ingredient? Pound cake.
  • What do you get when you repeatedly hit an avocado with a hammer? Gu-whack-a-mole!
  • How do you make a cookie crumble pie crust? With a hammer!
  • What was the reason for Captain America not picking up Mjolnir sooner? He really didn’t want to steal Thor’s thunder.
  • What is the most efficient method for permanently deleting files on a laptop? Squash the laptop with a hammer. That will ensure that the files are permanently Dell-eted!
  • What do you call a hammer once it retires? A hammock.
  • Why is the hammer considered to be the dumbest of all the tools? Because it is not the sharpest tool in the box.
  • Why can’t you be friends with a hammer? Because it always wants to beat it!
  • What did the rest of the toolbox say to the hammer during a cold winter day? Stop being such a tool and chill out!
  • I never understood how a hammer could be so susceptible to the effects of gravity, and then it hit me.
  • I was working on an investigative report regarding hammers for work this month. Talk about a hard-hitting topic.
  • Two steaks are hanging out on the kitchen counter when they spot a spiky hammer across from them. The ribeye says to the t-bone “what is that for? ”“Beats me, ” replied the t-bone.
  • I was not able to find the hammers, bricks and tiles at the shop today that I need for a project. I decided to ask one of the lads that was restocking the shelves where I could find them. He said that they were under construction, to which I replied “When will they be finished? ”
  • What do construction workers and volleyball players have in common? They really like to hammer the spikes.
  • I saw a dog do the impossible today. It found Thor’s hammer in a field and, to my surprise, grabbed the hammer in its mouth and lifted it with ease. That dog must be a Labrathor!
  • What do you get when you buy a hammer on the first day of the fourth month? An April tool!
  • Why did the hammer break up with the drill? It felt too screwed up.
  • How does a handyman prepare dinner? He bangs it out with a hammer and cooks it over an open flame.
  • The guy at the hardware store is great with handyman project questions. He really hit the nail on the head when he hammered out the answer for me.
  • Why did the hammer go to college? Because it knew it couldn’t just skate by on shear power alone.
  • When I was a kid I got hit in the eye with a hammer. I’ve been afraid of them ever since. I guess you could say the experience had a lasting impact on my outlook on life.
  • What do you call a magical hammer? An abnor-mallet!
  • Why don’t hammers go to the opera? They can’t handle the high notes.
  • I bought a new drill at the hardware store today and it came with a hammer function button. Curious as to what it was, I loaded a battery pack into the drill and hit the button. Now it just keeps shouting “You can’t touch this” and I can’t get it to stop.
  • What do you call a pig that does construction? A ham-mer.
  • I went to work with my dad the other day to learn more about carpentry. At the end of the day, I asked him how I was doing with my apprenticeship, to which he replied, “You are doing great with measuring and cutting but your hammering skills are like lightning, you never strike the same spot twice. ”
  • Why doesn’t a hammer use technology? Everything it touches cracks up.
  • Why do hammers make terrible drivers? They always hit the nails on the road.

And that my friends was your daily dose of hammer humor! We truly hope that these 53 rib-tickling, bone-crushing hammer puns didn’t miss the mark and instead hit the nail right on the head of your funny bone. Keep pounding away at life with a smile, because in the end, we all need a tool-tally terrific laugh every now and then. So go ahead, make these puns part of your repertoire and use them to construct a fortress of joy around you. Be it a casual chuckle or a loud laugh, remember, every hammer time is a good time!