55 Hilarious Lime Puns That’ll Squeeze Your Funny Bone

Prepare to peel back the layers of laughter as we embark on a journey through the refreshingly zesty world of Lime comedy. Whether you’re a citrus aficionado, wordplay enthusiast, or a simple humor seeker, these puns and jokes are specially plucked and perfectly ripe, ready to add a tangy twist to your day.

Stir up the comedic cocktail of your day with a firm squeeze of good humor. We’ve assembled an exotic grove of 55 lime-themed guffaws, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and zest up your sense of humor. So get ready, sit tight, and allow these sharp-witted, tantalizingly tart quips to cause a rindstorm of giggles. Dive on in and let the fun be-gin! Just don’t be surprised if you find yourself green with laughter!

  • Why do kids not like lime in their pastries? Because it is a bit too tart.
  • Why do bartenders not like a lot of light where they work? Because they prefer the lime-light.
  • What’s a lime’s favorite exercise? Juice-jitsu.
  • Why did the lime go to school? To get a little zest in life!
  • Why was the lime so confused? It had mixed peelings.
  • Where do limes go to get their information these days? On-lime!
  • What did the Arborist name his prized lime tree? Margatreeta!
  • What did the king call the lime that was made his personal entertainer? The court zester.
  • What kind of citrus is used to make glass? Limestone!
  • What do you call a timid lime? A little squeamish.
  • Why was the lime in trouble? It had been in too many pithy situations.
  • Why did the lime become a gardener? It had green thumbs.
  • A customer came into the bakery last week and asked if we had any carrot cakes. I told them that we didn’t have any available and they proceeded to buy a key lime pie instead. The customer continued to do this for several days in a row, but today the baker decided to surprise the customer by making an extra carrot cake, which he kept in the back. I presented the cake to the customer and told them that we had set one aside for them today. The customer said “Oh, that’s too bad, I’ll have to shop elsewhere now as I’m allergic. ”
  • What made the lime decide to go to the doctor? He didn’t peel very well.
  • My wife and I were in the supermarket getting groceries today when she asked me if the limes she was picking out looked ripe to me. I said they looked fine, to which she replied, “Good, because you know that there is a really fine lime between cooking healthily and catching scurvy! ”
  • Why couldn’t the bike stand up by itself? It was two tart.
  • Why was the lime not allowed to join the orchestra? Because it was not able to keep lime with the other musicians.
  • What do the citrus fruits call overtime work? Lime and a half!
  • A lemon was planning a bank heist but realized he needed a partner to pull it off. He had just the partner in mind, his buddy, the lime.
  • Why did the veggie go out with the lime? He was quite a-peel-ing.
  • What does the ghost lime say? Boo-berry pie.
  • What type of cheese does the lime like to use on his sandwiches? Limeburger.
  • Why should you never pick the lowest fruit on a lime tree? Because they are sublime.
  • What do you call a transformer that is disguised as a fruit? Optimus Lime!
  • Why did the lime start a religion? It wanted to start a new sect-or.
  • Why did the lime go to the bank? To cash its citrus checks.
  • What drink do the band members have before every show? Gin and tonic, but hold the lime.
  • Why did the lime go out with the prune? He couldn’t find a date!
  • Did you hear about the lime that got insulted? It was incitrused.
  • Why do limes always say no when they are asked if they would like to watch Pulp Fiction? Because it sounds like a horror movie.
  • What do you call a mixture of tomatoes, avocados and lime disease? Guacoma!
  • What do you get when you let citrus fruits write your song lyrics? Lime-ricks.
  • Why did the juice factory fire all of the lemons and limes? Because they just couldn’t concentrate enough.
  • Why did the lime refuse to race? It was squashed.
  • There was a local rapper in the farmer’s market today that kept dropping rotten fruit he found in the bins on the ground. I leaned over to my wife and whispered in her ear “This local rapper sure drops some sick limes. ”
  • What separates a whole lime from a half lime? One is a full round, the other a half measure.
  • What do you get when multiple limes collide? Citrus entanglement.
  • What do you call a comedy duo consisting of a banana and a lime? Key and Peele!
  • How does a lime stop a movie? By hitting the paws button!
  • What did the lime say to the lemon? Lime yours!
  • What makes limes so more observant than bananas? They contain large amounts of Vitamin See.
  • What recreational activity can you see a lime taking part in regularly? In-lime skating.
  • What makes lemons so much safer for consumption than limes? I have no idea either, but I do know that they don’t have a disease named after them.
  • Why didn’t the lime go to the prom? It was afraid of making a fool of itself and just froze up!
  • How does a lime get around town? In a fruit bus.
  • Why did the lime go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the sour realities of life.
  • How does a lime answer the phone? Yellow, it’s juice me!
  • Why did the lime join the band? Because it has zest for music!
  • How did the lime confess its love to the lemon? I find you re-lime-lessly attractive!
  • Why was the lemon so green? Because it came down with lime disease.
  • What prevented the lemon and the lime from getting married? Fruit cantaloupe!
  • My friend was parched, so I threw her a soda, which I thought for sure she would catch. Unfortunately, Sierra Mist.
  • What did the doctor pair with his patient’s covid shots? Lime wedges.
  • What did the pie thief use to open the lock on the safe? A key lime!
  • Why don’t limes ever get lost? They always take the main squeeze-way.

And there you have it, folks, a lovely batch of 55 zesty lime puns guaranteed to add the perfect squeeze to your day! Just remember, while life might occasionally toss you a sour lime, having a hilariously pun-packed retort up your sleeve can instantly add a splash of tonic to the situation. As you navigate the citrusy world of humor, don’t forget to laugh at the ‘pithy’ puns, chuckle at the tangy punchlines, and guffaw at the zestful jokes. After all, a little lime laughter is the perfect way to round off your day on a refreshingly high note!