56 Onion Puns That’ll Make You Cry with Laughter

If you’re a person who appreciates a pun as much as an onion appreciates layers, then buckle up and brace yourself for a comically tear-jerking journey. We have meticulously peeled back the layers of humor to serve you not just one… not just two… but fifty-six hilariously clever and remarkably pungent onion puns. Each one is like a little bite of tear-welling joy that will leave you crying with laughter.

Get ready to plunge into the crisp and zesty world of these onion-themed witticisms. Whether you are a connoisseur of comedy, a pun-loving enthusiast, or simply someone looking for a giggle to brighten your day, these puns are bound to make you laugh out loud. So, don’t wait a moment longer – grab your favorite box of tissues, put on your bravest face, and let’s commence this zest-filled rollercoaster ride. The pun-ion awaits!

  • When they asked him why he had pushed over the bowl of chili, he said it was because he had been asked to check the balance of onion in it.
  • When I asked the onion how do they feel after workout, it sighed and said I feel peeled off.
  • I have an onion friend who likes to act ghetto. We call him the rapscallion when he does.
  • The onion tried making a joke, it didn’t work out because it was far too cheesy.
  • Have you heard that the BeeGees were onion lovers? They say it all in the song “CHives Talking. ”
  • The onion drafted a long proposal for its idea, it just needed a few extra layers.
  • The onion got a punishment, it was given peeling duty.
  • If you make sure not to form any emotional bonds with them, then onions won’t make you cry.
  • An onion with the ability to carry electromagnetic waves is called a photoninon.
  • Did you know that my wallet and an onion are very similar? They both cry when I go to open them.
  • I love a sweet onion. I usually just call them caramelized though.
  • Onions live underground because they are known to have many lairs.
  • The onion won a photography competition due to its many layers of focus.
  • The onion started its own magazine, it had depth and layers of information.
  • When the onion gets what is coming to it, you know that he is regretting the decisions that led him to get Karma-lized.
  • When I want to have a drink after a long week, I go where the onions go, the salad bar.
  • Did you know that every 3. 14 onions are filled with an opinion?
  • Be careful of an onion that burps at the wrong time, it releases tear gas.
  • The onion started a new hobby, it said it was a form of self-peeling.
  • When I went to see the Doctor about the onion stuck in my nose, he told me I should eat more sensibly.
  • The onion couldn’t deal with its emotional baggage, it was just too layered.
  • Why did the onion get a promotion? It was a true business tycoonion.
  • The onion was going on a trip, it couldn’t wait to explore the layers.
  • The onion wanted to start a band, it heard about The Rolling Scones.
  • When my onions cannot hold water correctly, I always call them leeks.
  • The onion was constantly making people cry, everyone called it a sob-story.
  • The onion should consider politics, it’s no stranger to causing tears.
  • Did you know that the fun cousin of the onion is visiting?  He’s the funinon!
  • None of the other veggies could figure out why they were always so emotional around the onion that they started to cry.
  • My pogo stick is made from a spring onion.
  • Only the most eco-friendly and environmentally conscious onions are lucky enough to be named green onions.
  • I found that I am a lot like an onion, annoying outside. Then, you peel back the layers and you just find more and more of the same and start to cry.
  • Today I found out the truth about red onions. They are all communists.
  • The onion didn’t have a sense of style, it preferred being low-bun.
  • The onion started a new job at a burger joint, it loved stacking up the resumes.
  • Why did the onion go to the party? Because it heard it was a pep-rally.
  • The onion got admitted into a prestigious university, it had strong research skills due to its layers of knowledge.
  • I saw an onion once with an allergic reaction. I knew because it had broken out in chives.
  • The onion started a dance class, it encouraged everyone to peel off their inhibitions.
  • The onion decided to try a career in singing, it heard it had a high note of pungency.
  • I always answer when the Onion rings call.
  • If you ever get lost in a crowd, just bring an onion with you. You’ll stick out immediately.
  • I loved the onion who always wanted to take me out for the most romantic dates and adventures. I finally figured out why…it was the French onion.
  • I made an onion dish for a friend’s potluck once, but I won’t ever do it again. It calls for a shallot of onions.
  • Why did the onion break up with the garlic? Because it couldn’t stop being a tear-jerker.
  • Did you ever read a book in high school about the onion that turns to a spider and spins encouraging webs promoting a pig? It’s called Shallot’s Web.
  • Do you know anything small, white, rather stinky, and giggles a lot? I do! A tickled onion.
  • In the hospital I asked the nurse if she had anything for my liver and she simply handed me a bag of onions.
  • The onion joined the gym, it wanted to work on its core.
  • Sometimes, when an onion gets electrocuted, people will start referring to it as an anion.
  • The fanciest onion I have ever seen was, by far, the cocktail onion.
  • I heard something calling to me in a very faint voice when I was making a salad the other day. I thought it was an onion whispering but realized it was just a little hoarse radish.
  • The cheese was getting a little tired of the onion, it had too many layers to deal with.
  • Onions make spectacular gymnasts, especially in the onion rings event.
  • There is a group of onions that are small, yellow, and naughty. They also cater to evil geniuses. They’re the minonions!
  • The horse that the onion knight is riding is my favorite. It’s because they ride a-scallion.

We’ve now reached the root end of our garden of gags, with a teardrop or two shed in solidarity with the mighty onion. That’s 56 layers of puns, each more tear-inducing than the last. We hope these onion puns didn’t make you bawl, but rather sprinkled some zest on your humor salad. So, walk away with the stinging joy of laughter and remember, there’s no crying in comedy… unless you’ve just peeled through a flurry of onion puns!