50 Boozy Puns That Will Leave You Howling with Laughter

Raise your glasses because we’re about to uncork a barrel of hilarity with our brew-tiful collection of alcohol-themed puns and jokes. Brace yourself for a bubbly, spirited journey where the punch is as potent as a punch-line, and each quip is guaranteed to be headier than your choice tipple. Expect nothing less than pure, intoxicating humor that will certainly lift your spirits!

Do you relish a solidly brewed pun that warms your belly faster than a finely aged whiskey? Do you believe that laughter, like a good cocktail, should be generously mixed and smoothly served? Then muddle up your routine and instead, shake and stir in these 50 corking jokes, all with a deliciously tipsy twist. So, ready to wet your whistle on some free-spirited fun? Don’t bottle up your laughter because it’s time to -hic- pour it out! Wine not take a shot?

  • What do you call beer that is served in a bucket and surrounded with a bunch of ice? An arctic pail ale.
  • Why should you never trust drunk people with your phone number? The first clue should be the fact that they usually say “Alcohol you later” when you give it to them.
  • I’m fine with the odd drink with friends, but I draw the lime at Tequila!
  • Can you name the title of the Spanish version of Harper Lee’s classic novel? Tequila Mockingbird!
  • What is an alternate description for being black-out drunk after a night out on the town? Getting absinthe-minded with friends!
  • Can you guess what they called the panel discussion regarding Whiskey versus Vodka? The Spirited Debate!
  • What does whiskey and meditation have in common? Both can lead to high spirits!
  • What’s a cocktail server’s favorite game? Shake and Stir!
  • My boss asked me to pick up a twelve pack of drinks at the store for the staff barbeque, but I felt like that wouldn’t be enough, so I picked up a twenty-four just in case.
  • Why do people enjoy drinking during the winter? Because they can always count on some ice breaking!
  • What does a ghost have in common with a drunk person stumbling around in an abandoned mansion? They both get sheet-faced regularly.
  • What is the only appropriate dance to be done during a keg party? A tap dance!
  • What should you do when friends tell you that you are drinking like a fish? Just tuna them out and have a good time!
  • Why do the beverages at the bar perform a rock concert? Because they wanted to have a jam-session!
  • Whiskey and I have known each other a long time, but I feel like that is about to change. I keep waking up in strange places with no memory of how I got there and no sign of her. I think my relationship with whiskey is on the rocks.
  • How did the martini get its name? It was invented by a bartender that worked at the world famous mini-bar.
  • Why do bartenders always win at poker? Because they always have a great deal.
  • What is the best drink you can order if you just want a small beverage to sip on while visiting with friends? A Mar-teeny!
  • How do you get a drunkard to climb up on the roof? Tell him the next drink is “on the house. ”
  • What do you get when you give beer to a bunch of lumberjacks? A variety pack of loggers.
  • What’s a beer’s favorite type of music? Brews and rhythm!
  • What’s the most talented alcoholic drink? Wine, it can make anyone sing!
  • What do you call a bottle of gin that has fallen on the floor? A smash hit!
  • Why are dogs not allowed inside of bars? Because they don’t know how to hold their alcohol.
  • Why did the mojito blush? Because it saw the mixed berry daiquiri!
  • Why are ghosts the best drinking buddies? Because they aren’t picky. They enjoy anything that has boo’s in it.
  • What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-morse Code. Same goes with drunken texts!
  • Why don’t ghosts like drinking alone? Because they prefer boos with company!
  • Why are hangovers considered the ghosts of Christmas past? They remind you that you have been a bit too spirit-ed!
  • I am starting to doubt my therapist’s way of problem solving. While I understand what he’s saying when he claims that alcohol won’t solve all my problems, I had to tell him I felt it’s worth trying a shot or two at least.
  • Why do bartenders make great detectives? They always get to the bottom of things!
  • What do you get when a bear drinks honey from a wild beehive? A really buzzy bear!
  • What do you use to repair a broken bottle of Johnnie Walker? Scotch tape!
  • What is the spirit animal of most distillers? Grey Goose!
  • Where do drunk witches go to cast their spells? To the local Brew-ha-ha!
  • What’s an artist’s favorite drink? A self-portrait of a Negroni!
  • Why should you avoid drinking so many margaritas when partying? Because they’ll eventually try tequil-ya.
  • I was having problems with shoulder pain during the summer with all the extra gardening I was doing and when I went to see my doctor about it, he just prescribed me a beer a day. At first I laughed, but then I realized he was being kind of serious, so I asked him why he would make a recommendation like that, to which he replied “Because it will cure what ales you! ”
  • Why does a bicycle fall over when it’s parked outside the bar? Because it’s two-tired!
  • Why don’t lentils and chickpeas party with vodka? Because it tends to falafel afterwards!
  • Why do tequilas never play hide and seek? Because good ones are always hard to find!
  • Why don’t cocktail shakers ever run out of stories? Because there’s always plenty of mixing and shaking!
  • Why did the rum break up with his longtime partner cola? Because he found her too sweet and fizzy!
  • I was at a pub near my place the other day and you’ll never guess who walked in. None other than Chuck Norris. Can you guess what he ordered? A sock-ee, straight to the face! The man didn’t even flinch!
  • What did the lime say after his friend had one too many tequila shots? Dude, you need to take it easy and zest for a while!
  • Why did the wine and beer run a marathon together? They wanted to prove that it’s not all about the race, it’s the finish!
  • I met some family and friends at a pub for Easter brunch and we were surprised by the Easter Bunny showing up. We invited him to join us and he accepted. When we asked him what brought him to the pub, he told us he thought it was Hoppy Hour.
  • What type of beverage can you serve to family and friends during the winter season? A brr-bon!
  • What does a martini say on a Friday night? Olive the weekend!
  • Why is cold weather the quickest way to cure a heavy buzz when you are partying? Because it’s how you get so-brr!

Well, folks, you’ve just swirled through our 50 boozy puns that have, hopefully, left you howling with laughter and not hungover! Whether you’re the life of the party or love a good chuckle while sipping your single malt in solitude, these puns prove there’s nothing like a good laugh to give that funny bone a high. So, the next time conversation gets low, pour out a pun that’ll be the ‘spirit’ of the party! Remember, laughter is the best inebriation! Cheers to a fun-filled, pun-filled journey!