71 Crusty Puns That’ll Make You Loaf Out Loud About Bread

Doughn’t you just loaf a good pun? Get bready, because we’ve prepared a bakery of 71 belting bread jokes that are guaranteed to make you knead to laugh. We promise, these aren’t just your run-of-the-mill puns–they’re the whole wheat and the bagel to boot!

You may be wondering, Can they really rise to the occasion? Aren’t they putting too much on their plate? Well, fear not! Our puns are made by top bakers—we mean, joke makers—who know how to tickle their audience’s funny bone to the yeast detail. Cut yourself a slice of laughter, and let’s take a roll call to pun paradise!

  • The bread truck’s main job was hauling buns.
  • The local bakeries popularity is on the rise.
  • Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend? The relationship was crumbling.
  • The young lady had to get rid of her toaster. She was as black-toast intolerant.
  • What did one bread lover say to the other? I want you to know that I loaf you.
  • You’re the apple of my rye.
  • The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
  • What gift does bread get its lover? lots of flours.
  • Why did the baker file a sexual harassment claim? People kept commenting on his hot buns.
  • Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband? He thought she was being too kneady.
  • You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
  • What do you call a man that bakes bread while he sleeps? A yeast dreamer.
  • When you start at a bread factory its best to try and butter up your boss.
  • When young loaves play hide and seek they shout, “Bready or not, here I come! ”
  • How does bread get new friends? Gotta have a crusting relationship.
  • Bread wallets are popular now. Their the yeast expensive!
  • Why did the man keep messing with his doughy friend? To get a rise out of him!
  • Did you know that pilgrims baked bread on the May-Flour?
  • How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? A four-loaf-cleaver.
  • The baker caught his apprentice sleeping on the job. He said, wake up, doughnut loaf on the job.
  • The secret guild of bakers say that recipes are on a knead to know basis.
  • Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
  • Thank you for helping me. No problem it’s the yeast I could do.
  • Why was the bread so proud? It was on a roll.
  • Why did the butter keep talking? He was really on a roll.
  • Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
  • Why did the baker stop making donuts? He was fed up with the hole business.
  • Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us.
  • I tried taking a picture of my bread loaf, it came out grainy.
  • Why did the bagel become a magician? It wanted to perform dough-nuts and crosses.
  • They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
  • The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
  • Why did the piece of bread break up with his girlfriend? She spread rumours about him.
  • The young bread couple eloafed together.
  • The chef was surprised that anyone liked her bread, she thought it was crumby.
  • What do bakers give out on Halloween? Yeastie beasties.
  • What do you call a dog made of bread? Collie flour.
  • Why did the slice of bread go to the bar? To get toasted.
  • Sometimes bread just likes to roll with it.
  • Why did the bread go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the knead-ing.
  • What do bread wear at weddings? A loaf-ers.
  • The diet clinic promises that it’d really take your breadth away.
  • What did the toast say to the psychic? You bread my mind!
  • What’s a bread’s favourite type of music? Pop and loaf.
  • The baguette knew he couldn’t win…he was toast.
  • That vietnamese couple bahn mi from their restaurant.
  • They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
  • Why is bread never lonely? It’s always in a loaf.
  • Bread puns never get stale.
  • How did the bagel propose to the bread slice? He got kneel
  • Why is bread so well-behaved? It always crusts in line
  • Do you know why bread is always unhappy? Its life is always crumby!
  • What do you call a piece of raw beef between bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
  • Challah at ya boy.
  • What’s a baker’s favourite kind of tree? A pumpernickel.
  • Why was the bread maker broke? He kneaded some dough.
  • What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.
  • What did the banker want from the baker? To pump her nickels.
  • How does a bread guru find peace? By meditating on the path of yeast resistance.
  • When a bread gets old younger breads tens to think they’re crusty.
  • How does a slice of bread feel after a long day? Toasted.
  • Why did the bread go to school? To get a little breader.
  • I saw a youthful bread loaf and his loafer…
  • What did mama bread say to her kids? It’s way past your breadtime!
  • What’s the most high class kind of bread? The upper crust.
  • Why did the baguette get a time-out? It wouldn’t stop loa-fing around.
  • Why does bread never get lost? Because it uses a breadcrumb trail.
  • Baking bread is a labor of loaf.
  • I’m headed to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office.
  • I don’t want naan of that.
  • The sign on the baker read “ I knead dough to live”

And there you have it folks – a smorgasbord of 71 dough-lightful, flour-power fueled puns and jokes that prove once and for all, bread-related humor is no half-baked idea! Remember, life isn’t always about having that perfect slice, sometimes it’s just about kneading a good chuckle. So, whether you’re a bread enthusiast or just loaf to laugh, these puns are sure to add a little yeast to your jest! Now, go rye-se to the occasion and spread the cheer with your friends, family, or your friendly neighborhood baker. Grain-thanks for sticking with us till the end – don’t forget, laughter is the best serving suggestion!