88 Brew-tiful Coffee Jokes That’ll Make Your Day Perkier

Are you in need of a cup of laughter to go with your morning coffee? Well, look no further, we’ve brewed up a fresh pot of humor just for you. We have 88 puns and jokes that are all about our favorite caffeine fix: coffee! These jokes are steamy, strong, and sure to lighten up your day – just like a perfect cup of Joe!

They say laughter is the best medicine, but we believe it’s even more powerful when paired with a warm, invigorating mug of coffee. We guarantee that every pun and joke in this list will give you a hearty laugh, making your coffee break a whole lot more fun! Buckle up, sit back with your cappuccino, and prepare for a latte laughs – we promise, it’s going to be espresso-ly hilarious!

  • What is the coffee drinker’s favorite movie? The Lord of the Beans.
  • Sending you a latte love today.
  • Why was the barista good at hockey? Because he knew the grind.
  • What song did the coffee lover listen to by the Beatles? Latte be.
  • Why don’t basketball players drink coffee? Because it makes them dunk too much.
  • Words cannot espresso how much I love you.
  • How did the hipster burn his tongue on the coffee? He drank the coffee before it was cool.
  • I care about you so much it is hard to espresso my feelings about you.
  • What is a sad cup of coffee called? A depresso.
  • How do coffee cps greet each other? With mugs and kisses.
  • I want to mocha you happy.
  • What happened when one friend forgot to order the other friend a cup of coffee? Their friendship came to a butter end.
  • What superpower does a coffee superhero have? Caffeination.
  • What is the coffee’s favorite pickup line? Hi hot stuff.
  • What is the coffee lover’s favorite book? The Count of Macchuato.
  • What is a favorite Christmas movie of a coffee drinker? The Polar Espresso.
  • What is the coffee lover’s favorite show? The X-filters.
  • What did the coffee say when she handed in her assignment late? Better latte than never.
  • Why was the latte upset? The coffee drinker told her she was bitter.
  • What do the employees of a coffee shop say when they are asked if they like their job? Working here has a lot of perks.
  • Why do coffee and mugs get along? They are a perfect blend for coffee.
  • What does Eric Clapton and strong coffee have in common? They both need Cream.
  • What did one partner tell the other? You keep me grounded.
  • What is a hard working coffee pot? A grinder.
  • What does the coffee bean like for dinner? A roast.
  • Why don’t we tell secrets in a coffee shop? Because espresso can hear.
  • What Bob Marley song does a coffee lover like? Don’t worry, be frappe.
  • What do you call it when you go into the shop to get coffee and you feel like you already did? Deja brew.
  • What happens when your spouse drinks your coffee? It is grounds for divorce.
  • What does a barista say when he wakes up in the morning? Rise and grind.
  • What type of spell does the coffee like to cast? Espresso patronum.
  • How come kangaroos do not drink coffee? It makes them too jumpy.
  • What did the coffee maker say to the hyper coffee beans? Kettle down now.
  • What’s a coffee lover’s favorite Beatles song? Instant Karmaffeine.
  • You look so good, I would say you are brew-ti-ful.
  • Why would a coffee bean keep looking at a watch? She was pressed for time.
  • I am so excited I cannot espresso it.
  • How is a coffee driver’s favorite magician? David Coffeefield.
  • What’s a coffee’s favorite denomination? Expressolitism.
  • Why did the coffee shop close down today? There is a storm brewing.
  • What did the coffee say after a date? I’m brewed over.
  • Why did the barista become a gardener? He was tired of dealing with grinds.
  • What did one French press say to the other? Stop pressuring me.
  • Why was the coffee bean worried all the time? He was having a latte problems at work.
  • You are a cool bean.
  • What is the opposite of the world coffee? Sneezy.
  • What did the gossiping coffee machines do? They spilled the beans.
  • What did one coffee say to the other before they went out? Let’s stir up some fun.
  • What do you call it when you steal someone’s coffee? A mugging.
  • Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  • How come espressos do not talk to herbal drinks? It is not their cup of tea.
  • What song does the coffee play on karaoke night? Hit me with your best shot.
  • What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? Decalfinated.
  • What is a coffee lover’s favorite exercise when working out? The French press.
  • I love you a latte.
  • What kind of coffee ignores you in the morning? A-despresso.
  • Why would a cup of coffee call the police? The coffee was mugged.
  • Why do you avoid debates about coffee? It can make for a heated argument.
  • What do you call a coffee guy at a party? The life of the brew.
  • What’s a coffee’s favorite Bob Marley song? Stir it up.
  • How do you make beef jerky? Take away its morning coffee.
  • The Smashing Pumpkins like coffee so much they are changing their name. They are now the Smashing Pumpkin Spices.
  • What do you call a group of musical coffees? Brew harmony.
  • Why does the IT department drink the most coffee? They install Java.
  • How come snacks do not drink coffee? It makes them viperactive.
  • How was Moses able to make his coffee? He brews it.
  • What do you call a popular student at coffee school? A cool bean.
  • What’s a coffee’s favorite Sun Tzu book? The Art of the Roast.
  • Why was the barista fired? She came to work in a tea shirt.
  • What do you call a cow that just had a baby? De calf inated.
  • Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage? Because it’s grounds for divorce.
  • What’s a coffee’s favorite karate move? Espresso chop!
  • Why was everyone sick at that coffee shop? They were all in coffeeing.
  • My espresso machine was not working. I had Rage Against the Espresso Machine.
  • That a latte for being there for me.
  • How can you tell that the members of AC/DC are getting old? They changed their name to AC/Decaf.
  • You are so hot, in fact you are steaming hot.
  • What do you call coffee bullies? Mean beans.
  • What does a coffee lover give their Valentine? A brew-quet of flowers.
  • What do you call a coffee you’re not sure about? An uncertain-tea.
  • Why was the coffee pot always smoking? It was addicted to potting mix.
  • What would a barista say to a picky customer? You are mocha me crazy.
  • Where do birds go to get their coffee? At the nest cafe.
  • Why did the coffee go to school? To improve its latte art.
  • How are coffee beans like children? They are always getting grounded.
  • What do you call a coffee enthusiast on a rollercoaster? A roast-er coaster.
  • What did the coffee lovers say when they got married? We are meant to bean.
  • Why did the coffee pods get sent to the principal’s office? They were brewing up trouble again.

So, whether you’re a latte lover or an espresso enthusiast, we hope these java jives brought a smile to your face and a warmth to your mug. As you sip your next cup of brew, just remember – life’s too short for bad coffee and lousy jokes. So always pick the best beans, sip it gently, laugh heartedly, and embrace the daily grind. That’s the one latte life lesson you can brewly depend on! After all, every coffee pun is a brew-tiful thing in its own ground-up, caffeinated way. Now go toast to drip happiness and espresso-yourself out there! That was our 88th coffee pun – full brew on caffeine, full steamed on humor. It’s bean a pleasure, folks!