51 Hilarious Farm Puns That Will Make Your Day Udderly Amazing

Welcome, fellow humor enthusiasts, to the farm that laughs back! Prepare to sow your funny seeds, plow through chuckles, and harvest a crop of laughter because we’ve got 51 stacks of hay-larious farm puns coming your way. Our humor silo is brimming with jokes that are sure to make your day brighter than a rooster’s crow at dawn.

Whether you’re a city slicker missing your rural roots or a countryside dweller who lives and breathes all things farm, our puns are guaranteed to make you guffaw, giggle, and have an ‘udderly’ amazing time. So, roll up your sleeves, pull on your wellies, and prepare to wade into a field full of laughter – these farm puns are ripe for the picking!

  • What made the pig decide to end her relationship with her longtime boyfriend? He was just too boar-ing.
  • What do you call a bull that’s sleeping? A bulldozer.
  • When is the only time a pig can be caught taking a bath? When the farmer yells hogwash in the barnyard.
  • Why did the farmer stop telling jokes? His cows didn’t think he was amoosing.
  • What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  • Why do calves dislike following their mom into the cow pasture? Because mama cow always tells them its pasture bedtime now go to sleep.
  • Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse.
  • Today I told my dad about my boyfriend who I had been seeing for a while already. He asked what he did for a living and I told him that he was starting a honey farm with loads of flowers on it to help save the bees. My dad looked at me for a while and then responded with “He’s a keeper then. ”
  • What do you get when a buffalo rancher has to prepare a celebration for his farm reaching the two hundred year old mark? A Bison-tennial celebration!
  • What do you end up with when you mix parts of a tractor with bits of a robot? A transfarmer!
  • What recipe does a farmer use to make a delicious batch of sweet and sour pork? Raise a pig on feed that is enhanced with sugar and vinegar, then slow roast it.
  • How does a farmer count his cows? With a cow-culator.
  • Why did the farmer bring his iPad to the cow barn? He wanted to take a selfie.
  • What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer day? I’m bacon!
  • What crime did the tree commit on the farm? Treeson!
  • What do you call a horse that lives next door? Your neigh-bor!
  • Why were all of the highest grades for the math exam from the local farm kids? Because they are all pro tractors!
  • What do you get when you cross a horse with a creature of the night? A Nightmare!
  • Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
  • I once asked a farmer how he ended up with such a beautiful farm. He said it was all due to his magical tractor. Curious, I asked if I could see the tractor he mentioned. He replied with “You’re looking at it” and proceeded to point at his field.
  • What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
  • What kind of animal does a farmer look for to help him keep the time while he works the ranch? A watch dog.
  • I had a customer tell me that they thought my farm’s corn was the most delicious they had ever eaten at the farm market today. I thanked them and told them that there was polenta more where that came from.
  • Why don’t farmers ever tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears!
  • Why do farmers always know how to party? Because they can really raise the roof.
  • Which sports game do sheep enjoy playing on the farm? Baaadminton!
  • What did the coroner’s report reveal as the cause of death of the farmer’s crops during his autopsy? Natural causes!
  • Why did the cow fail his driving test? He couldn’t get the horns to work.
  • I met a pig named Ink on the weekend at the local petting zoo. Curious as to the origin of her name, I asked one of the Zoo staff. “Oh that’s because she keeps running from her pen. ”
  • Which breed of cow has absolutely no legs? Ground beef!
  • What did the farmer name his milk cow that had no calf? Decaf!
  • Why did the tomato turn red on the farm? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • I was talking with my neighbor that owns the farm down the road this morning and he mentioned that one of his cows had gotten out and they had not been able to find it anywhere, so he was asking all of the locals to keep an eye out for it. I said “Sure thing George, I’ll let you know if I see the miss-steak. ”
  • Which day of the week do the farm potatoes fear the most? Fry-day!
  • Why did the farmer have to get rid of his swine powered car that he invented to fight rising fuel costs? Because whenever he took a corner, the tires would squeal like crazy.
  • What do you get when you cross a bull with heavy duty equipment? A Bulldozer!
  • What is another way of describing cow hooves? Feet that have a case of lactose.
  • What do you call the person in charge of running old MacDonald’s farm? The CIEIO!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • Why was the cucumber mad at the farmer? He was always in a pickle.
  • Why did the farmer invite the carrot to the party? Because he was a good root.
  • Which kind of ghost is known to haunt farms after it has passed on from this world? A poultry-geist!
  • What do you call the spots on a black and white dairy cow? Holstains!
  • When the farmer was done shearing his sheep, he couldn’t find one of the yews. He searched everywhere and when he had finally given up for the day, he went back to the ranch house feeling defeated. There, on the porch, was the missing yew and a police officer. “Oh thank you officer, you found my missing sheep, ” said the farmer. “Not so fast sir, ” replied the officer, “the sheep reported a fleecing and I need to investigate the situation. ”
  • What do cows read at breakfast time? The moos-paper!
  • What made the rancher bury money in his fields? He was trying to make his soil rich again.
  • Why did the scarecrow break up with the cornstalk? She was a-MAIZE-ing, but he thought she was too corn-y.
  • Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horsepital!
  • Which farm animal keeps the best time? A watchdog!
  • What do you call a farmer that grows, harvests and sells his own corn? Cruel, because he is always pulling ears.
  • Why don’t farmers make good magicians? Because you can always see their tractors.

And there we have it. An impressive flock of 51 side-splitting farm gags that’ll make you cackle like a hen that stumbled upon a hidden stash of corn. Each joke is like finding a four-leaf clover – you can’t help but feel lucky and chuckle out loud! Whether you’re a city slicker or a country bumpkin, these jokes have harvested a round of laughs from all. Say, don’t you feel like a pig in mud, having had so much fun? Remember, they’re all best served with a ‘bale’ of laughter! Gather your herd and continue to laugh till the chickens roost. Until next time, folks – stay amoosed!