59 Hilarious Bank Puns That Will Make You Rich in Laughter

Whoever said money is no laughing matter definitely hasn’t stumbled upon this treasure chest of bank humor. We’ve compiled a lucrative amount of 59 knee-slapping bank puns and jokes that will undoubtedly bring a smile to your face. After all, we believe that a day without laughter is like a bank account without money – it just doesn’t add up!

We’ve got punchlines about checking accounts that check all the right boxes, savings puns with a surprising amount of interest, and ATM humor that’s right on the money! So go ahead, cash in on this comedy gold. Just remember, laughter is the best investment, and these financial funnies deliver returns that will make you feel like a million bucks. Trust us, it’s time to ‘bank’ on some good humor!

  • The football coach went to the bank angry. He wanted his quarterback.
  • Why was the skeleton unable to rob the bank? He didn’t have the guts.
  • Why did the artist bring his easel to the bank? He wanted to draw money.
  • The local bank must really love me. I keep getting messages that my loan is outstanding.
  • What was the patron told by the bank teller? “Bank you very much. ”
  • Why don’t bankers need to go to school? They already know their numbers.
  • Why don’t basketball players go to the bank? They always get rejected.
  • Why don’t football players have bank accounts? Because they always lose their quarters.
  • Why did the banker cross the road? To open a new branch.
  • Why did the old lady take raisins to the bank? She wanted to set up a current account.
  • What do you call a person with a head full of change? Headquarters.
  • My friend told me he has no interest in banking. He was not a loan.
  • Why did the computer go to the bank? To get some more cache!
  • What do Banks and Bakers have in common? They both knead dough.
  • Why did the scarecrow become a banker? He was outstanding in his field.
  • My friend used to have an account in a bank at the North Pole. They froze all his assets.
  • A man robbed the bank while wearing a suit made of mirrors. However, after taking some time to reflect, he turned himself in. Fortunately, the judge was lenient since he saw a lot of himself in the young man.
  • When did it rain money? When there was a “change” in weather
  • The banker said he didn’t add my money to the safe because he lost interest.
  • Why couldn’t the money teller keep a secret? She had too many cents.
  • Why did the goalkeeper have so much money in the bank? He was really good at saving
  • A banker is a person who gives you his umbrella when the sun is shining but demands it back immediately after it starts to rain.
  • Why did the battery take a loan from the bank? It wanted to keep things charged up.
  • Where do fish store their money? In the riverbank.
  • Why is borrowing money from a pessimist the best option? He won’t expect it back.
  • What did the tree do after the bank’s closure? Started its branch.
  • Why did the baker keep his dough in the bank? He kneaded to keep it safe.
  • Three men walk into a bakery; a social worker, a government employee, and an investment banker. The lady at the counter takes out a bowl with a dozen cookies. The Wall Street investment banker takes 11 cookies and tells the social worker that the government employee is trying to steal his cookie.
  • Why did the bank place clocks all around? Time is money!
  • Why did the old man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
  • Bankers don’t die. They just lose interest.
  • Why was the river wealthy? Because it had two banks.
  • Why did the teller lose her job at the bank? An old man asked her to check his balance so she tipped him over.
  • My friend was addicted to banking. The withdrawals were the hardest part.
  • I wanted to apply for a personal loan at the bank. I told them I wanted to be a rapper and, suddenly, they didn’t want to Post Malone.
  • A horse jockey and a basketball player just robbed the bank. The police are looking high and low for culprits.
  • Why did the bicycle go to the bank? It needed some cycle-logical security.
  • He wanted to do a bank robbery since it was a safe job.
  • Give a man a shotgun and he will rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everybody.
  • Why are Irish bankers prosperous? Because their capital’s always Dublin.
  • If a lawyer and a banker were both drowning and you could only save one? Would you read the paper or go to lunch?
  • A man walks into a bank, pulls out a shotgun, points it at the teller, and shouts, “Give me all the money you have or you are geography”Puzzled, the teller asks, “Don’t you mean ‘history’? ”The man replies, “Don’t change the subject. ”
  • Why was the tightrope walker at the bank? To check her balance.
  • Why did the avocado take a loan from the bank? It wanted to start a guac chain.
  • Why do bankers never get lost? Because they work with lots of maps (MAPR).
  • Why did the bank manager purchase cows? To beef up security.
  • Why are bankers good at basketball? They are pros at passing bucks.
  • Two bankers were at a bar enjoying their beers. Banker 1: How are you? Banker 2: Not good. My life is ruined. I want to commit suicide, but I don’t know if I can do it. ”Banker 1: Why don’t you hire a contract killer? Banker 2: I can’t even do that. I went bankrupt and have no money. Banker 1: Don’t worry about that. I will let you borrow it.
  • What did the nut say when it went into the bank? Give me all the cashew you have.
  • Why do we put our money in the fridge? It is the only way to keep it cool under all circumstances.
  • Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal.
  • Why was the cat a good bank manager? It knew how to manage its purr-sonal finances.
  • A woman visits her bank manager and asks, “How do I start a small business? ”The bank manager replies, “Start a big one and wait six months?
  • What do you get when you cross a banker and a fish? A loan shark.
  • Why was the computer cold at the bank? It left its Windows open.
  • Why was the bank at the beach? Because it wanted to keep its savings on sand.
  • A young man was newly appointed as a clerk in a bank. The branch manager was fond of books and Literature. She asked the clerk, “Do you know William Shakespeare? ”The clerk replied, “Not really. Which branch is he in? ”
  • What do you call a lizard that works in a bank? A reptilian investor.
  • What’s the difference between a catastrophe and a tragedy? A tragedy is when a boat full of bankers is sinking in the ocean. A catastrophe is when they can all swim.

And there you have it folks, our bank vault of hilarity has finally run dry after sharing those 59 knee-slapping, funny-money puns about banks. Remember, laughter is the best investment and these puns guarantee solid returns. So, make it a habit to deposit a few chuckles on your face every day. And hey, if you ever find yourself short on laughter, don’t be afraid to take out a laughter-loan from this list. Keep in mind, there’s no interest, we’re simply interested in your interest! Till next time, keep those laughs compounding, and remember that every good joke is the checkmate to a gloomy day.