66 Hilarious Chess Puns That Will Checkmate Your Boredom

Are you ready to let out a hearty laugh, one fit for a king or a queen? Prepare for an onslaught of jests and witticisms that are so hilarious, you’ll swear they break some kind of comedy code. This collection isn’t just black and white, it’s full of humorous shades designed to tickle your funny bone – welcome to a curation of wildly witty chess puns!

Now, you might not be up to speed with all the knights’ moves and rooks’ rules, coz let’s be honest, it’s no pawn-demic is it? But don’t worry! Even if you’re not Kasparov, you’ll discover a treasure trove of mirth in this laugh riot of 66 chucklesome chess-themed jests. So, don your imaginary crown, grasp your sceptre of humor tightly and get ready to laugh like a chess board on full tilt – let’s checkmate your boredom!

  • Why did the chess player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to get to the top of his game.
  • I was asked if my high school had a local chess club. I said let me check mate.
  • Why did the chess piece get a time out? It was caught throwing a pawn tantrum.
  • A man in Africa was recently arrested for shooting at a huge chess set. Those big game hunters are nothing but trouble.
  • Why was the computer cold at the chess tournament? It left its Windows open.
  • Why do chess players make great musicians? They always have the best moves.
  • The chess player went to the bakery to get a choco-pawn.
  • What is a group of chess nerds called when they’re bragging about their chess skills in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts roasting on an open fryer.
  • How do you beat a Slav at chess? You find them a Czech mate.
  • What is a chess player’s favorite drink? A pawn cocktail.
  • Why don’t chess players ever get into a fight? They already have enough pieces to capture.
  • I played chess with a lumberjack and he beat me at the game. Well plaid.
  • Why don’t chess players have to go to college? They already have plenty of degrees.
  • Why did the king fail at tennis? He always preferred to serve in chess.
  • I had a bird challenge me to a game of chess once. I told him that Toucan play at that.
  • I had lunch with a chess master in a diner that still used checked tablecloths. It took her three hours to pass me the catsup.
  • How come chess players have many kids? They mate often.
  • Why was the chess board found guilty in court? It was clearly black and white.
  • I was playing chess with my friend and she asked if we want to make things interesting. We stopped playing and went to the movies.
  • I like the rook out of all the chess pieces. It is straightforward.
  • I recently saw an old friend again. He happens to be a chess champion. I asked him how he was doing. All I did was check on the mate.
  • I beat the local chess champion in less than five moves. Mu karate lessons finally came in handy.
  • Why is a chess player good at dancing? He has some good moves.
  • Why was the chess piece always tired? It was a pawn that never got promoted.
  • How come cows do not play a game of chess? They cannot make any mooooooves.
  • Why did Michel Jackson say to his opponent in chess? It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white
  • I have a pen pal that lives in Prague. She is my Czech mate.
  • My friend wanted to play chess and asked me if I had all of the pieces for the game. I told him I would have to check, mate.
  • I went out to dinner with a check champion the other night. It took her 20 minutes to pass the salt and pepper.
  • Why is it confusing to eat in a restaurant in Australia for a chess player?
  • What is a chess player’s favorite drink? A pawn cocktail.
  • When traveling with the horse in chess you always need to take the L train.
  • Why did the chess player bring a pencil to the match? To draw his next move.
  • I got my daughter a chess board for her birthday. She is gifted.
  • Why do chess players always carry an umbrella? Because every now and then, there’s a chance of reign.
  • When I first started playing the game of chess I tried to move my Queen first. That was a rookie mistake.
  • I wanted to learn more about the history behind chess. Turns out it has a checkered past.
  • What’s a chess player’s favorite type of music? Rook and roll.
  • I recently got a job working at a 24 hour factory. It’s like a human chess game. I have to work knights this week.
  • Customer: Check mate Waiter: Checkmate? Customer: Can I have the check mate?
  • Why do chess players work well in parliament? They’re good at making moves.
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up in the chess tournament? Because it was two-tired.
  • Why are chess players good at math? They know their times tables.
  • This was actually a movie that was made about playing cheese. It’s called the Dark Knight Rises.
  • Where is the worst place you can purchase a chess set? The pawn shop.
  • I think I lost my king after the last chess game. I will need to check.
  • Why was the chess professional getting worried when she was finishing her meal at the restaurant? The waitress asked if she wanted the check.
  • Chess players are surprisingly good at boxing. They pack a strong right rook.
  • Why did the chess game go to the restaurant? It heard the waiter saying check, please.
  • There is a new game that combines cheese, battleship, and connect four. The game is called rook, line, and sinker.
  • What does a pirate say when he wins a game of chess? Check matey.
  • What song did Bob Seger write about the game of chess? How the knight moves.
  • It seems like British chess players always win the game. Why is this? The Queen never dies.
  • A wife came home and found her husband staring at his chess set. There was an egg on the other side of the board. She asked him what he was doing. He said that he was making a cake and the recipe said he needed to use a beaten egg. She asked him why he was playing a game of chess. He said the eggs keep on winning.
  • Why are there always guests at a chess party? Because they can’t resist a knight out.
  • I played my friend in a game of chess. She did not think that she could win but she wanted to check anyway.
  • Why do chess pieces never pass their driving test? They always get stuck in a castling violation.
  • Why did a lonely Czechoslovakian player go on a dating site? He wanted a Czech mate.
  • A Slovak chess player was looking for someone to play with. He found the perfect partner when he paired up with a Czech mate.
  • The chess player always brings a flashlight to the match. He likes to keep things light.
  • What part of the brain is used to play chess? The pons.
  • Why did the plant go to the chess game? To watch some photosynthesis.
  • Someone asked me how I was going to pay for my fancy new chess board. I replied, “With a check, mate”
  • What’s a chess player’s favorite type of pasta? Chess-ta.
  • Why was the photo of a chess board sent to prison? It was framed.
  • Why do players from Australia hate moldy bread? They do not like the stale mate.

Whew, dear readers, we’ve certainly had a rook ‘n’ roll ride through the chess board of humor! Our pun list has ranged from pawn-tastically funny to rook-roaringly hilarious. We hope it’s king-napped your boredom and replaced it with laughter that echoes through your castle. Having knighted your funny bone with these 66 hilarious chess puns, we capture this moment and dub you champions of jest. Remember, like chess, laughter is always best when shared and regularly practiced. You’ve survived our comedy gambit… until the next fun-filled list, keep your laugh game in checkmate, folks!