49 Hilarious Clock Puns That’ll Make Every Second Count

Good day, time enthusiasts and jesters, and brace yourselves for a laugh-worthy moment that’ll tick your ‘funny clock’! We’ve gathered together a collection of giggles that are so timely, they should probably have their own sundial! There are 49 tick-tocking puns and jokes in this quiver of comedy – enough hilarity to keep you cackling from dawn till dusk. They all revolve around our favorite time-teller – the good ol’ clock, stripped down to their nutty, punny, time-keeping cores.

Each of these jokes is a tick closer to becoming the life of the party or the comedian in your group text. So why wait? Time flies when you’re having fun! Come, let’s clock in some laughter and make every second of your day count with these perfectly-timed clock jokes and puns. Go ahead, it’s time to dive in! With this kind of humor, you’re sure to have a minute to spare!

  • My brother invited me over to his new apartment last night to hang out and give me the grand tour. I told him I was working late but could swing by after work. I get there at midnight and he very proudly gives me the tour, ending with the huge bedroom where he has a gong set up. I asked him what the gong was for, to which he replied it wasn’t a gong at all, but rather a talking clock. Puzzled, I asked him how that works and without hesitation, he grabbed the gong hammer and gave it a whack. Suddenly, from the other side of the wall we hear “Good lord man, keep it down! It’s after one in the morning! ”
  • What do you get when a rooster and an alarm clock cross paths? An alarmed clucker!
  • What do you call a clock that doesn’t tick? Tok-less.
  • What does a cat clock say? Time for a catnap.
  • I had to write an article about clocks the other day. It was very time-consuming.
  • What did the boy clock say to the girl clock? You really ring my bell baby!
  • Why did the duck have so many alarm clocks? Because it needed to be awake before the quack of dawn.
  • What’s a clock’s favorite kind of music? Tick rock.
  • Why did the clock go to therapy? It needed to unwind.
  • My wall clock stopped working a while back and I should really do something about it. It just keeps hanging around.
  • A boy and his cousin are playing together and the boy says to his cousin, “Hey did you know it’s possible to reflect time? ”“You’re lying, ” said the cousin. “It’s true, ” replied the boy, “follow me and I’ll prove it. ”The two head down the hall to the bathroom, where the boy takes off his watch and holds it up to the mirror.
  • What did the minute hand say to the hour hand when it bumped into it? Sorry, just passing the time.
  • The young digital clock became so excited when it got the time right for the first time that it ran into its grandfather clock’s den and exclaimed “Look grandpa, I can do it with no hands! ”
  • A scientist was rushing to complete a time experiment for a deadline when he ended up dropping his watch into a beaker of liquid, freezing time for a short while. Turns out he found a timely solution.
  • What do you get when a clock tells another clock about current events? Second hand information.
  • Which dog is the best time keeper to have around? A watchdog!
  • Why did the clock go on a diet? It wanted to lose some minutes.
  • Why was the clock always in trouble? He was always cross-handed.
  • What did the digital clock say to its mother? Look mom, no hands!
  • Why was the clock arrested at the butter factory? It was accused of stealing time.
  • Why was the clock always stuck up? Because it was too faced.
  • In this world full of chaos and doubt, clock puns may just be the timely laughter we need right now.
  • What do you call a clockmaker who has lost his mind? Cuckoo!
  • Why did the clock break up with its girlfriend? They didn’t have enough quality time.
  • Whatever you do, don’t surprise your boss with a clock. They would just be alarmed.
  • What biscuit loves telling the time? A clockolate chip cookie.
  • Why did the two clocks finish their conversation? Time was ticking.
  • Why did the clock go to the gym? To get its second wind.
  • Why did the clock keep going back to its ex? Because it missed her every second.
  • What do you call a clock in a library? Clockwise.
  • What did the clock merchant call the grandfather clock? The old-timer!
  • What did the clock do at the party? It tick tocked all night long.
  • Why was the clock feeling down? It was feeling second hand.
  • Why was the clock located in another dimension? Because it was given a time-out.
  • What do you call something that is tall, made of wood and complains about all of the modern electronics today? A grandfather clock!
  • “See you both in a minute, ” the hour hand heard the second hand shout to it and the minute hand as it passed by on its rounds.
  • My girlfriend was upset when I arrived late for our dinner, but I explained to her that I was delayed when a policeman arrested me. “Why, what did you do, ” she exclaimed with a worried look on her face! “Nothing really. I dropped my new alarm clock coming out of the store and the officer witnessed it and arrested me. When I asked him what the charge was, he said it was for killing time! ”
  • What do clocks eat for breakfast? Tick tacks.
  • I was asked to name the best job I’ve had in a survey today and I had to put down the clock factory. I had the time of my life there!
  • What did the clock say when it sneezed? God bless you right on time.
  • Why did the clock win the beauty contest? Because it hands were just stunning.
  • Why was the grandfather clock so popular? Because it was timely and wise.
  • How did the clock win the time race? It was fully wound.
  • I tried to have a second serving of clock today because it was smaller and I was still hungry, but I couldn’t finish it. It was just too time-consuming.
  • Why was the unruly clock kicked out of class and sent to see the principal? Because it was tocking over the teacher all the time.
  • Why should you never tell secrets in the presence of a watch? Because time always tells the truth.
  • Which teacher always knows the time? A clock-ulus professor
  • If a clock gets hungry again shortly after eating, what does it do? It goes back four seconds!
  • What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

We’ve just wound up our hilarious journey through the realm of clock puns! Whether you’re an early bird who’s amused by the tick-tock in the morning, or a night owl who prefers the midnight chime, these 49 puns have added a dash of humor to every minute. From crazy cuckoos to sundial shenanigans, we hope you’ve had a rollicking good time. Seems like the hour hand on our comedy clock just took a joyride! Remember, time keeps changing, but puns… they’re timeless! Now, you may set your laughter alarm for our next pun adventure. Always keep ticking and giggling!